All my troubles seemed so far away

Fluff already has a nemesis and will not be available to fill this position.


You really need to focus on being the best (most heinous) nemesis to your owners. With a name like that few will take you seriously.

pf, you could always try to be your own nemesis:

Roger Moore’s best movie, by the way (which actually says a little more for the movie than you might think…).

Monsieur Cochonailes,

I am…how you say, open to offerrrs…oui?
Le D :smiling_imp:

Don’t we have enough of that with vic-k?

Ah! Floss, welcome aboard Scrivener. The more kitties we have on board, the better. Rodent, proliferation is becoming problematic (along with the odd pigeon), as is human proliferation, too.

Nemesis, you say. Vic-k is an embarrassment, an encumbrance, an irritant, a slovenly sloppy slob, but…nemesis? No, I don’t think so, Floss.

Should you be referring to another (human or otherwise), I have to point out that I’m really not all sweetness and light, as many may believe. I do have my darker side:

Do, take care, Floss.

Fluff and Floss I want to tell you the story of the stuttering cat.

You owe me a computer cleaning and a fresh soda.

See what I mean, Floss, about the odd pigeon.
Fluff :frowning:

I didn’t know pigeons could type. Maybe it’s a Tennessee thing.


You do remember that Google used pigeon to get better search results don’t you?

I did not know this, but have independently verified. It must be true as the webpage telling me all about it was in colour.

As a pigeon racer I can tell you that many folks underestimate the humble family of columbidae. Ours will fly over 600 min less than 10 hours. Many races have average speeds over 50mph (some are much higher).

That said, Google took one look at Wock and did the same thing the rest of us tried. But he just keeps coming back to crap on the sidewalk.

Do you ever beat them?
tee hee ha tee merr mrrrww
rrrrrrrrr prrrrrrrrrr

No. Nor do the various felines, such as yourself. I have been known to take up arms again moribund equines and various grimalkins who appear unwanted at the lofts.

are horses. How come you have expiring horses in your pigeon loft?

Careful numpt, y’re pushing it there. We have a Portuguese grimalkin crew member called, Greymalkin. I wouldn’t cross her owner, she has a vicious tongue.

Y’re wasting your time, Floss. He’s a redneck Yank. They don’t do sophisticated humour.

I said “at” not “in”.

Geesh. Some cats.

OK! What are near dead horses doing in your garden near you loft?

Eating the onions. So was the cow, but I figured that the resultant milk would be punishment enough.

I sat down and read a self help book.

After discovering new powers of persuasion I practiced first on the mouthy young.

After much success I shut down a whole concert with the help of a few fiber one bars and some mexican food.

(Read the full story here) … -show.html

Never underestimate the power of airborne poo bombing as a persuasion tool.

Ha harrrgghhhh

It is not


It is