Beer

Discuss.

…ich! :blush: ich! :blush: burrrp! :blush:

Bayerskt by Falcon. Very nice. Not as dark as Murphys. But Murphys nice too - not as dark as Guinness.
Then on the other hand - Guinness not bad!
My taste in beers also depends on what kind of food that goes with it. A light one, Corona, with tacos.
Ok, ok , I know, Wock will only go: Food?? With beer? Why?

Magnus

Thats what happens when yve gorra booze addled walnut for a brain!..sad :frowning:

LOL

A liquid diet can be sustaining enough.

What I always wondered was why their are nutrition facts on food product labels but Alcohol beverages lack those, instead giving you a vague warnings that drunk pregnant women should not operate forklifts. :slight_smile:

Myself I like NEW CASTLE, Guinness, and Corona (summer beer).

Here are some other uses I have found.

Marinate meat in it - Use beer instead of wine to marinate your meat. Not only does it taste better, but it also makes the meat softer and more tender.

Help grass grow easier - pour beer on those irritating brown spots on your lawns to help your grass grow. The grass absorbs the nutrients, sugar and energy it needs to be able to grow.

Kill slugs & snails - Fill containers or wide-mouthed bottles or something of the sort with beer about a quarter to half way up. Then bury these in your garden. The slugs or snails will be attracted to them and drown.

Kill mice - This may sound a little far-fetched but fill a bucket or pail up about a third of the way with cheap beer with a board or something leading to the rim at the top. The mice, smelling this, will jump in, and not be able to climb out.

Calm a stomach-ache - Just sit down and drink a beer. This carbonated drink will settle your stomach right down. The alcohol helps reduce the pain as well. Don’t use if you have an ulcer or gastritis.

Polish gold - Wet a piece of cloth with some beer and start rubbing your gold (no stones) to get the shine back. Use a second cloth to dry it.

Bathe in it - Add a few cans of beer into your bath. Believe it or not, it will do you good. The yeasts are good for softening and soothing the skin.

Polish wood furniture - Let some beer sit until it goes flat, then, dampen a washcloth with it, and rub your wooden furniture. This will polish it, and give it a more shiny and healthy look.

Cook with it - When boiling shrimp, try using beer for the cooking liquid. Season as you wish, but don’t overcook.

GET SOME SLEEP
Would you believe that beer can be a sleep agent and help insomnia? Well of course, we all usually pass out after a night of inebriation. But no, we’re talking a normal night’s sleep here! Women actually use it for their children.

Women have been known to sew hops into pillows, allowing for the smell of it to help as a sleep aid, especially for colicky babies. Hops are a type of flower, though, so be careful if you have allergies.

HAIR GOOP
A handy grooming tip. A few drops of beer is sticky enough to subdue any sudden uprising on your eyebrow or scalp that you spot in a bathroom mirror. Just wet your index finger and demurely slick it down. Think of it as Miller mousse.

LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE
If you’re feeling a bit hypertensive, put a handful of dried hops or hops pellets (available at any home-brew store) in a coffeemaker and brew them with hot water.

It makes for a bitter tea, but it supposedly brings your blood pressure back to normal by dilating the capillaries. I wouldn’t advocate this as a replacement for medication, though. And as it’s not technically beer, this is one of those uses for beer that stretches the point. Don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story…

FIGHT FIRE
Although certainly not as effective as a real fire extinguisher, a can or bottle of beer can mimic one if none is available. Simply shake and spritz. After all, beer is mostly water. This works on small grill flare-ups, and some people have been known to carry an emergency can in their car in case of engine fire.

However, it’s a little difficult to explain the emergency case I have in the trunk to police officers. My drunken response: “You never know what type of fire you’ll come up against… maybe a big ol’ wildfire!” See how many uses for beer there are? It can get you arrested, too!

POLISH POTS
In days of yore, the last bit of beer from spent kegs was collected and used to polish the copper vats in breweries. You can actually use beer to put a shine on anything copper, from pots to copper-top tables. Because of its acidity, you can just pour some on, let it sit for a while, then wipe it off. Because hey… you always want to make sure your pot is clean.

MOUSETRAP
Ever heard of a fatal attraction to beer? Did you know that you can trap mice with it? One of the more cool (and cruel!) uses for beer…

Set out a few small pails or bowls of beer with a small ramp leading up to the lip.

The mice will be attracted by the smell, hop in, drink their fill, then be unable to climb out. Sinister, isn’t it? (I know a few pubs that sound exactly like that mousetrap idea… Ed.)

RICECAPADES
Rinse 1 cup jasmine rice in water. Do it twice more, then drain well. Next, dump the rice into a medium-size pot and add 12 ounces of beer. (A nut-brown ale works well.) Bring the mixture to a boil, turn the heat to low, and cover the pot.

Simmer for 20 minutes, then remove from the stove and cool for an additional 10 minutes. The rice won’t be lumpy, and it’ll have a nuttier flavor — just like you after you eat it.

BEER-B-Q SAUCE!

Ingredients:
1 medium Spanish onion, diced
1 medium banana pepper, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp capers
5 ripe tomatoes, diced
1 small can tomato paste
1/3 cup each wine vinegar, olive oil, soy sauce, brown sugar
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp each Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, honey, Dijon mustard, horseradish, oregano
2 tbsp fresh ground pepper
1 tsp cumin
Dash of ground clove
12 ounces amber ale or porter

Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan and boil for 10 minutes. Lower heat and simmer for about four hours until thickened. Cool and refrigerate for 24 hours so the flavors can meld. Then baste everything but the dog with it.

LOOSEN RUSTY BOLTS
Pour some beer on them and wait a few minutes. The carbonation may help break up the rust.

SHAMPOO HAIR
Not only is beer the remedy for a dull party, it’s also the cure for dull hair.

Dump a cup into a small saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Let it reduce until there’s 1/4 cup left. This removes the alcohol, which can dry hair. Let the beer cool, then mix it with a cup of your favorite shampoo.

Pour it into an empty shampoo bottle, then wash and rinse as usual. It’ll give your hair more shine and luster. Put a nice head on your head!

FIND DUE NORTH
“You can’t kill the bear…” Sorry, I was daydreaming about some Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin movie. Where was I, oh yes… okay, here’s the scenario. A bit far-fetched, but hey, if they can do it in the movie, so can we.

Let’s say you’re hopelessly lost in the wilderness, and all you have is a can of beer, a sewing needle, a small bowl, and a pair of extra-large silk panties. (Because this is a matter of life and death, the camp counselor should give hers up.) First, open the beer, pour some into the bowl and let it go flat. (Better drink the rest; this may not work.)

Next, magnetize the needle by stroking it repeatedly in one direction with the panties. (The needle, fellas…) This will generate a charge of static electricity. Then float the needle in the beer. When it stops, it’ll be pointing in a north-south direction. Haul ass so that you can make happy hour before sundown.

BEER SLIDE!
And the number one use for beer – a beer slide! That’s right, you’ve polished the pots, flushed the kidney stones, cooked up a variety of food and found your way out of the woods. Now it’s time to enjoy yourself and use yet another excuse to get those hot girls next door into bikinis.

At your next party, lay a large vinyl tarp on a slope, then make it slick with lots of beer. Have your friends strip down to their underwear or swim trunks, get a running start, and slide downhill! It’s more fun than midget bowling on a Saturday night with bucket specials. (OK, well maybe not that fun.)

NOTE: This is meant for humor and fun. Drink responsibly by finishing your beer before getting another. Do not DRIVE while, during, or after you have been drinking or you are a moron. No beer was hurt during the writing of this message.

My name is Wock and I support this message.

…se what I mean Magnus! His`whole friggin life revolves around booze…tch!..tch!..sad :frowning:

A salute!
youtube.com/watch?v=ETrWZsYYJOQ

Wock, I’m amazed and favourably astounded! :smiley: I am so saving this info!!

But as far as drinking the stuff goes, I’m sticking with McMenamin’s Ruby.

Recently I have become partial to Foster’s Twist. I vowed never to buy Foster’s again after a dreadful advertising campaign they had a few years ago which ran along the lines of, “Global warming? Fuck it. Have a beer.” But there you go. Anyway, my better half pointed out to me a couple of nights ago that Foster’s Twist is essentially lager and lime. My argument was that it was just a citrus twist, y’know, like how you put a lime in the top of a lager bottle in summer (apparently originally to stave of scurvy or some such, hence we are “limeys”). She was having none of it. So I am officially a wuss, it turns out.

I’m also partial to a Kronenberg Blanc. Unfortunately, as with all white beer, very expensive.

I use to be a Stella (“wife beater lager”) man, but I don’t really like the stuff any more, after years and years of drinking it.

I cannot stand microbreweries. I first tried micro-beers or whatever you call them in Washington DC and they were fricking awful.

And before anyone shoots me down for being a lager-drinking wuss, bear in mind that I live in London. Back in the Midlands, I like a good pint of Bass. And when in Cornwall, I thoroughly recommend a pint of King Buddha from the Blisland Inn. But I can’t stand what passes for ale in London (I’m not a big fan of Theakston’s), so lager it is.

Interesting beer fact of the day: The term “Honeymoon” means a month of drinking beer, pretty much. When the vikings got married they would have a whole moon of drinking mead (made from honey) to celebrate. Nice!

Best,
Keith

Well, at least somebody drinks that nasty stuff. You certainly can’t buy it anywhere in Australia at local prices (I suspect it isn’t even brewed here anymore).

If you want to try a really lovely Aussie beer (and I’m sticking to ones you’re likely to find overseas), try any (or all!) of the James Squire bottled beers. They’ve got a stout (porter), a pale ale, a golden ale, and an amber ale - all tasty as all 'eck.

D.C. for micro-brews? :open_mouth:

Poor baby, no wonder you didn’t like them.
For really good micro-brews one must go to the Pacific Northwest,…

… like, y’know, Portland. 8)

Is Portland the land of Ports?

Is that where we get the Porterhouse?

Porters to carry our luggage?

A lovely dark bitter beer?

Or as Jaysen put it.

I think the Porters that drink Port and eat Poerterhouses are taking over the country in Portland and have a devised a simple method for a mass Exodus to Portland.

Beer, steaks, and women who disrobe in public.

TIme to talk to William Shattner and see if he can negotiate me a cheap ticket to Portland!
:slight_smile:

Now this is a topic I can get my teeth into: Beer, Women, and Steak. (but not in a Hannibal Lecter sort of way) Hmm, I’m not even sure of the proper order for the above. I need to prioritize my appetites.

Are the women of Portland trim? That would be enough to motivate me to make the trip. Unfortunately, here in the Heartland they’re migrating from Gen X to Gen XL. I see more all-you-can-eat restaurants than bars. It’s pretty odd, huge people getting out of cargo vans wearing curb-feelers on their belts so they won’t step on the little ones. Some of the restaurants that haven’t yet changed to garage door entryways have an employee stationed at the door with a tin of axle grease to lube the door jam.

I’'ve heard that the first words people learn in a foreign language are the profane ones. Not me, the first phrase I learned was, “Come to me with your underwear in your hand,” Sigh, now I’m trying to forget that sentence in my native tongue.

Note to self: Never post at this site after having one of those Margaritas that are so big I could hang a bath brush on the side of the glass. (I know I’m going to be sorry I clicked the “Submit” button when I read this later). Back to lurking…

I think the poor old Portlanders get a bad Press on these forums, lord knows why! :confused:

Fluff

Down here i the South we just put sped bumps in the buffet line. :slight_smile:

Most of us are – and I’m one of them. :slight_smile:

Sadly, though, many of the menfolk are not. :neutral_face:

Which is why so many of them just can’t keep up with us girls! :stuck_out_tongue:

See, that’s the problem with being awash in amazing, international award-winning beer here year-round. I mean, our daily paper even has a beer columnist! And there are brewfests almost every weekend starting in spring, including a big one last weekend. Not to mention more brewpubs (not just per capita – absolute) than anywhere in America. At least one is solar powered. So you’ll forgive us if all that brew quaffing exerts an expansive effect on our waistlines. Of course, we Portlanders have our bikes to work off the worst effects, but with Scrivener keeping us tied to our Macs most of the day, it can be tough to keep trim!
And Keith, please don’t judge microbrews by an encounter in Washington DC. That’s like judging Mexican food based on a meal at a Taco Bell in Iowa. Come visit Scrivenerville West and the Portlanders will acquaint you with the real thing, though Alexandria will have to drink tea instead.

Doesnt paint a pretty picture, does it! :open_mouth: Hundreds of terminally vain skinny women running all over the place, shouting, "Look at meee! everybody!! Look at mee!" , being screamed at and nearly run over, by hundreds of fat ratarsed men on bicycles (*bearly*), barely able to stay upright shouting, "Gerroutta the way y silly bitch…gerroutta the way!!"

Sodom and Gomorra eat yer heart out…tch!..tch! :open_mouth:

bearly that`s all we need, bears roaming all over Portland, tch!.. tch!

Oh-hhh, Vic-k.
That a rosy glow and healthy muscle could ever be mistaken for ‘terminally vain [and] skinny’.

You’re right – that ain’t a pretty picture [especially from the back]!

 :open_mouth:

A strong argument for staying in front,…
… gonna go wash out my eyes, now.