Crazy Idea re the Deathly Hallows

I just re-read all of the Harry Potter books and I got to wondering how I would end it all if I was JKR. Mmmm! Great exercise in curing writers block. Anyone care to speculate?

If it was up to me, I only know one thing for sure right now: Percy must die!

Or at least get a good spanking.

A few months back, one of the main Chinese newspapers here had a substantial article (quarter of a page – page size between tabloid and broadsheet) on how the story was going to end. My Chinese reading is not fast enough and it was at a busy time, so I didn’t read it, nor, stupidly, did I think of getting a cutting. But it’s main point was that Harry would die.

At that time I didn’t know … I could see the point of that, but HP fits so well within the “school story” model, and also within Tolkien’s definition of Fairy tales, and in both of those the good wins and the hero/heroine comes out at the end. But of course JK Rowling may well want to break the rules …

On thinking about it more, I got the impression in the 6th book that Dumbledore didn’t know what the 7th Horcrux could be, though my memory may be at fault. So my gut feeling, assuming that my memory is correct, is that Harry will turn out to be the 7th Horcrux and that he will have to sacrifice himself to overcome Voldemort.

Oh and Hermione and Ron sort themselves out and get it together, though why she would want to I don’t know … I find Ron irritating much of the time.

My favourite characters are Fred and George Weasley. I hope that their amazing talents finally prove essential in doing more than just getting the better of Umbridge and making loads’a’money!


OMG! They’ve killed Harry! Bast@rds!

Seriously though, Harry can’t die. HP are kids books. It’s fine to kill the characters who are the magical equivalent of red shirt ensigns, but Harry. No.

Trelawney moment
Harry will be the next Hogwarts Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at the end of the book. We will find out about Dumbeldore’s brother (the guy with a thing for goats). Snape’s for the high jump, regardless of what colour hat he ends up wearing.

It’s all a bit foggy after that…

True … and that fits the school-story/fairy-tale tradition. However, I think the age of the kids has gone up with the age of Harry and Co. – I’m thinking in terms of the writing here; in the first book there are plenty of children’s story techniques, child-style jokes and so on, but as the books have progressed these have got fewer and fewer, and to me they rather stick out when they do occur. And the stories and the events have got darker and darker.

I don’t think Harry has to die a horrifying death, with Voldemort doing the Avada Kedavra on Harry and thereby killing himself at the same time; I could envisage the climax happening back in that room in the Department of Mysteries, with Harry voluntarily, and by then in full understanding, going through the door to join Sirius and his parents, and by doing so destroying Voldemort’s 7th Horcrux … Not being killed and not really dying … in a way rather like Frodo sailing off from the Grey Havens …

Yes, Snape’s got to go, definitely, whichever side he turns out to be on; Percy has got to “get his spanking” as Khadrelt suggests; Draco Malfoy … he must come to a sticky end too.

But as the OP said, how would I end it if I were JKR. Thing is, personally, assuming Voldemort is destroyed – which I think he’s got to be – I don’t know what I could do with Harry. In a sense, Harry’s raison d’être will also have been destroyed; becoming DADA teacher would be such a let down for him, even though he is already the best DADA teacher, with an arguable exception in Lupin. Having him walk through that door to a presumed happy existence of an alternative kind with his parents and Sirius gets rid of the problem of what future to give him.


Hmm . . . what will she do? In some ways I don’t want to speculate because it might change my reaction to what she ends up doing. I’ve been so agog at her imagination and linguistic invention and sympathy for her characters that I wouldn’t want to do some aether transmission that will change what she chooses. But she did say she planned it all out in the teashop all those years ago didn’t she?

[20-minute pause for thought]

Ha! I never thought of that! They’re going to be in the 6th form, now, right? So they’re going to be thinking about where to go next? Where are the universities?

[More thought]

We have to have some more broom flying.

And dragons . . . dragons are cool.

And more Tonks (I have a thing for Tonks).

A glimpse of the difference between being in and heading a family might be good.

Alarums and excursions.

They’re all so changeable at this age, too. So, some surprises: personalities knit and skills discovered that appear because they’re at the age where these things do surprise us. That’d be good.

[ . . . ]

I think the book has to end with Harry on his way to taking Dumbledore’s place. Mr. Riddle? Back to a mote, perhaps.


Fascinating propositions. Yes they got me thinking - lots of ‘what if’s’

What if the fake horcrux is more salient than it appears at first?
What if Harry could make a horcrux?
What if the B story is a love story (Ron and Hermione as well as Harry and Ginny)?
I agree about Percy. If you’ve got to kill a Weasley it has to be Percy. You would have some arc of character change so he would die with honour.
What if Snape’s story arc is another JKR double bluff and he turns out be something approximating St. Snape? Nope! He’s a died-in-the-wool psychopath - zap him or send the sleeze to Azkaban.
What if Umbridge returned in a position of power to complicate things?
What if Draco Malfoy gains some insight into what a prick he is? It would come at a price.
What if Petunia Dursley and her prat of a muggle husband discovered way back that Dudley is a wizard? That would explain why they are always appeasing him. It mirrors Voldemort’s control over others. JKR would do that. The clue has been planted in every book from the start. He is the perennial thorn in Harry’s side. Now that would be something - kill Voldemort, give the four kids what looks like a fantastic future, save the school, and then in a final paragraph get Dudley to do a Voldemort and kill his parents and intimate that a vendetta against Harry will follow. So we finish the series satisfied that Voldemort is cactus but there could still be another evil lurking in Harry’s future - or, given the love story, Harry’s son’s future!!!. The clue to this was when Harry got his wand. Good wizard - bad wizard connected by a phoenix feather (Voldemort). Good wizard - bad wizard connected by genes (Dudley).
Part of me also yearns for a Muggle death for Voldemort. I’m dreaming. More likely he gets it both barrels. If you are trying to think like JKR you’ve got to give the book buying public a really satisfying end for Voldemort. Would Harry use an Unforgivable Curse to kill Voldemort?
What if the Veil in the Department of Mysteries is the focus of the final battle between Harry and Voldemort? It would justify the reveal that happened when Sirius fell into it.

Thinking like JKR is quite taxing. I think I’m a fan.


My Lord Lightning.
As anybody, possessing a modicum of analytical ability, should be able to figure out: Snape is patently not, the villain. Before Rowlings wrote the first story, Dumbledore, seeing the way things were heading with the Voldemort situation, thought it prudent to have an agent embed himself deep within the guy`s organization. For reasons best known only to himself and Rowlings, he chose Snape.

By the time Rowlings started the first draft of Philosophers Stone, Dumdledore already had his man in place, poised to launch himself into the role of Double Agent`. Snape, so we are told, supposedly, saw the error of his ways, left the Death Eaters, and was employed by Dumbledore at Hogwarts, And why not, prey, why not? If you, are, going to run an agent, how much easier could it be than having the guy working along side you, in the same building.

Now then, pay attention at the back! Rowlings has already told us, what Snapes relationship to Harry is. Remember…Snape was being bullied by Harrys supposed future father and his cronies, before they became Mr. Niceguys. Harrys future Mum comes along; sees whats happening; vilifies and castigates the bullies and feels very sorry for Snape, but, she also senses that, concealed within this outwardly pathetic persona, is something of a virile buccaneering Jack Ryan type. Harrys future Mum stood up for snape. Stood up or lay down; knee trembler or missionary position, the outcome was inevitable.

Snape is Harry`s dad.

Now then, you smartarses at the back of the class, calculating , if that was the case, Harry would ve been old enough for Primary School, when Voldermert zapped him instead of a baby, are forgetting that: nine months is the gestation period for Muggles, but, for wizards and halfbloods, its exactly the length of time form conception to birth, for Harry to be a baby when zapped.

Your homework for tonight is to work out how long that is.

In the final confrontation, between Voldemort and Harry, Snape intervenes, to save his son, sees off Voldemort and bring about his own demise in the process.

The real twist in the tale however, is that: during the half term break Harry got himself a holiday job, as the lead in Peter Shaffers Equusat the Gielgud in the Muggle Capital. It was whilst on ashop till you drop` day out in the capital,that Mrs weasley decided to take in a matinee performance of Equus; the outcome of which is: Harry and Mrs Weasley, have run off together. END of STORY.

Take care My Lord Lightning


Harry has good taste and must be an amazing actor. Equus is one of my favorite plays and that’s a powerful role, even for a wizard, to take on!


Alex,Mon Cheri,
could it be Mrs Weasley, who has good…taste?

Eat well, Alexandria,

The Director

Ha vic - that was brilliant. I really am smiling from ear to ear. (while JKR is howling with laughter at our attempts to do a mind meld with her).


My Lord Lightning
I am both humbled and heart-warmed by your most lavish and gracious praise. Praise, My Lord, I value as highly as that of Alexandria My Oregon Rose…DIRECTOR!!! get thee hence!!! now!! Sorry my Lord, The Director is one of my inner demons, who, in close proximity to any of the Lady Alexandrias communiqués, tends twards agitation.

Again, My Lord the most abject of apologies, for my Demon.
(Though in truth my Lord, the tormented soul, doth suffer agitation greatly.)

Your vassal


Stop it! Stop it! My sides are aching.

My Lord Lightning,

I seek only to serve,
It shall be, as you wish.

Goodnight my Lord.


SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t read the last Harry Potter book yet, don’t read this post (unless you don’t care).

Well, it turned out much the way I expected, except dangit, she killed the wrong Weasley! Arrrrgh!