For lovers of the bizarre

From the Cambridge News and Crier, 16 Dec:

“Guards praised for tackling man who shot banana.
Security guards have been praised by police for tackling a teenager
who fired a gun at a banana in Cambridge. Dimitry Palikhata, 19, has
been jailed after firing the revolver in the Tripos Court
accommodation block of the Bell Language School … A student told
[the security guards that] Palikhata, who is from Russia, had fired
the revolver out of the window of a communal kitchen and then at a
banana …”

Make of that what you will!

“Police cited similarities to recent unprovoked attacks on apples and oranges in the Cambridge area”.

“In other news, vic-k has gone missing since the previously reported incident occurred. While we should not speculate about these to events being connected, several groups are claiming that this was foretold by the Mayans as a precursor to the end of the world.”

All those innocent fruits, brutally murdered! :cry:

“Posts on the teen’s Facebook page indicated a deep-seated animosity towards fruit, and his favorite groups included Stealth Tactics against Lemons, How to Field-dress a Pawpaw and Watermelon Trophy Gallery.”

Used to go potato-shooting in Leicestershire with James Burt.

Back in the day.

Can’t now. Damn bleeding-heart pinko scum.

I’m staying away from Leicestershire.


Being of the barrister’s agency Nyhar, Leth, & Hotep, I am the representative on record for young Mr Palikhata. We are pleading self-defense in this case. That banana had it coming, long antagonizing Mr Palikhata with its herbaceous Musa goodness!

Please, let us not dole out such careless public speculation.

OK Chiquita.



Ay, Miranda.

He was trying to make the banana split.

More Bizzare.

Mom always said not to run with scissors. What about running with a fork?