I chased a burgler down the street last night

We had some excitement here last night. I was woken at just before 2am by my husband shouting out the window for something to get out of our yard. I was slightly disorientated, and assume he was yelling at a fox, but he’s not normally that vocal when the furry scum leap the fence. I leapt up in time to see a man jumping over our fence and out through our neighbours gate.

We have a back access alley which comes out at the top of the street, so I dashed down the stairs while asking the boxer shorted one where his camera was, but he didn’t know. I went out our front door and started to walk up the road, waiting for the intruder to come out the end of the alleyway. Fortunately I had a vest top and long cotton pants on, rather than baby dolls or anything unseemly!

I waited for a while, watching from afar, but I figured they’d been out the end and down the street before I’d got onto the road. Then I saw one. He was lurking by the corner. He saw me and moved into the road - by this time I was half way between him and our house. I crossed as well, but he’d disappeared. I kept walking towards the end of the road, then it occured to me that if he thought I was walking up towards him that he might be hunkered down behind a car waiting to clock me with a brick or worse. All the combat classes in the world didn’t really make me confident to kick him to death in my jammies, especially not if he had a knife.

I started walking backwards away from them, then suddenly I heard a car start. So I sprinted all the way back up to the end of the road in time to see a car reversing on the main road and taking off with the lights off. I got the number plate, and gave the three occupants a thumbs up and a wave, shouting “Thanks for that boys, lovely!” then I ran home reciting the number plate over and over.

The police arrived within ten minutes and took a statement. Mr boxer shorts was now fully dressed, and told them that he’d seen one tall lanky one walking back away from our house towards the shed, and when he shouted out a second one had bolted out of the shed. The police checked out the back and gave us some warnings about this happening a lot at the moment, then left via the alleyway. The good news potentially though, is that they stated at the car was “known” to them, which might mean that they know who they are looking for. Or it could just have meant that it was stolen.

It did occur to me that they know exactly where I live, since they must know I came from the house that shouted at them. That slighly unnerves me. But I hope they get caught. They probably wouldn’t have been messing about in our shed looking for tools if they’d realised we’d forgotten to lock the back door that night.

Good on yer.
You did well.
Never back down or be intimidated.
“At the end of the day” they are only scum and only worthy of contempt not fear.


Blimey, pink, that was exciting. Don’t waste time being nervous, but do remember to lock your doors at night.

This is also the best thread title on here, and would be a great title for a song. :slight_smile:

The thief was more scared than you were I bet. When someone is dashing at you in PJs and not stopping you know they are angry and capable of anything. They are a simple theif where you look like a hostile murder! (I bet the PJs were PINK! :slight_smile: )

Tell Mr. Boxer Shorts to put one of these in the window to deter future burglars. :slight_smile:

Actually, I deliberately chose green pj bottoms to break the pink cycle (the pink ones were out of stock in the boden sale, bastards.)

I am not sure that he was scared, they could have piled into the car and gone straight away, but he was lurking at the top of the street when I was standing nearer to our house. It was only when i heard the car start that I pelted up the road.

Wow, Pink! You are really, really fortunate you weren’t hurt! That’s the kind of excitement one just doesn’t need, regardless of the hour of night.

Crimony! I thought it was scary enough when I woke up to a strange sound in the middle of the night, and my version of Mr. Boxer Shorts went to investigate with a 1911 Colt .45! I think a .50 cal. would scare me! :open_mouth:

I’d actually find the thought of having a gun in the house scary enough, let alone one not much older than the civil war!

Mr Boxer shorts has stashed my softball bat (a DeMarini bat called the “Ultimate weapon”) under his side of the bed. I have no idea how he intends to use it out of the first floor window. He’d be better off with some baseballs and a keen aim.

You`d better start exercising your pitching arm, in that case.

Somethings just occurred to me :open_mouth: Knowing your total disregard for propriety, regarding behaviour and personal relationships. You were actually chasing this guy down the street, in your flimsy night attire, with a view to doing him [i]'serious harm'[/i]...werent y? :open_mouth: It wasnt because he was a hunky good looking kindda guy…was it? :blush:

rereading that lot, :unamused: I realise of course, that, with your propensity, for salaciousness, it offers numerous opportunities, for the 'doubling of entendres’.

Which was it then? :confused:

And, anotherthing: this bat, under his (Mr Boxer shorts), pillow. How do we know its intended use is for fighting off intruders. I dont suppose it could be for fighting, 'you off’, by any chance…could it? :confused:

In my head, I am quite the expert on disarming a would be assailant using a swift roundhouse kick to the side. That kick, forerunning a fluid block by the right would send the knife flying into the neighbouring dahlias, leaving the stunned attacker momentarily off balance. I’d take that opening to send a flying right to the jaw, and perhaps an answering left cross to ensure he’s out cold.

Then I stomp on his ghoulies until breeding is out of the question.

In the reality of daylight (or the streetlights at 2am) I really just wanted some identifying markers so that I wasn’t just ringing up the police and saying “Someone was in our yard” and that being the full estate of the details.

He wasn’t badly built actually. He had a sleeveless vest on, and his arms were quite well defined. I think he had dark curly hair like the guy from numb3rs. Mr Boxer-Shorts (who is now forever to be called by this nomer) saw one about 7 foot tall with a red shirt.


Murky waters there…murky waters.

Bet Stephen King could do a lot of storyteling after having a peep in there!!

Just post a a few signs around the yard that state this is the punishment for trespassing. I think then the bat would only be used for reasons Viv-k suggested. :slight_smile: