I hate art

I hate literature
I hate music

I also hate computers
the internet
And mobile phones.
And possibly my iPod.

Lets all write letters to communicate with eachother.
Or even face-to-face
Maybe we’d be happier.

Hee hee!

Unfortunately, Sebbi, there is a millennia-worth or so of evidence that the former items do not guarantee the latter.

Get some sleep. Turn off the iPod and the computer and the internet—it’s hard to sleep with them still nattering away.

Oh, and I’d reconsider the literature and music bits . . . after you get some sleep, of course.



(1) The cost of postage is too high to communicate cheaply.

(2) Music soothes even the savage beast.

(3) Find “literature” that best suites your tastes for pure enjoyment. It is meant for entertainment.

(4) Computers aren’t bad. Just those users that strap on helmets and then bash their heads on the keyboard in order to express a thought. Find more useful things the computer can do for you instead of letting it control you. After all it is a tool.

(5) Mobile phones come with an OFF button. Use it continuously and you may either find piece or miss something of great importance.

(6) iPods allow freedom of the mobile music collection. Better than a Pallet Jack.

(7) Face to face is usually done in bars/pubs where all the world’s problems are solved over a glass and yet no one remembers these great influential thoughts in the morning. Find a local dive and embrace the social structure of nostalgia.

POP in “The Decline” by NOFX and let your mind wonder…

In light of none of my friends having their phones on I’m just going to wander into town and HUNT THEM DOWN. If this doesn’t work, I will bring some chalk with me and make a huge piece of public art in the town square.

That’ll teach them for not answering their phones.

If you truly wish to punish them go to your nearest large chain books store that sells hundreds of mindless and boring magazines.

Find the most boring magazines you can find and shake them until their subscription cards fall out onto the floor.

Gather these up. Gather as many as possible.

Go home and fill them out in your friends names. and drop them in the mail.

Punishment will likely proceed six to eight weeks after this venture.

Sit back and play innocent and laugh at their futility at receiving “boring periodicals” they never asked for and having to go through all the hoopla of canceling their unwanted subscriptions.

THAT is awesome!

Reminds me of a college prank a friend of mine pulled. He got hold of the victim’s checkbook, and sent small donations to a variety of political causes that the victim opposed. Resulting, of course, in the victim being deluged with junk mail from those and similar causes.


LOL that is funny.

Spam. It is all about spam. Find the “sign me up” point for some of the more notorious orgs and submit the addresses. Less legal concerns for you or them (bank fraud/theft in the case of the donations, and fraud in the case of the subscriptions).

My boss is still suffering from the last time he tried to prank me. I warned him the retribution would be swift and significant. By the time he was back at his desk his work, phone, and pager email were basically unusable. :smiling_imp: I am sure there are legal implications for the work email, but the rest is fair game.

Man, don’t feed the spammers. They’ll just get ideas, and then where will we be?

In my case it is called “even”.

No one has pranked me since I took revenge. May it should be “ahead” or “safe”. Either way places I am happy to be in.

Most recent office prank in involved expanding foam insulation, plastic wrap, and desk drawers. Not fun for the recipient.

Wock, you are truly evil. 8) This would be hell on earth for me!


heheh TRULY EVIL would be to find the more questionable magazines. Not straight out porn and such but walking the line of distasteful and questionable behavior (aka something like High TImes).

Then subscribe the “friend” but instead of using their home address use their work address instead.

Or send off for information for things like sexually transmitted diseases, etc and instead of sending your friends address send it to their neighbors. Some to the ones on their left and others to the one on the right but put your friends name on it. Then let them try to explain when the neighbor brings over their “mail” that was mistakenly put in their mailbox instead of your friends.

Other truly evil things to do are.

Putting a big glob of Vaseline underneath the car door handles of the person you wish to “prank”. A variation of this is to put a line of Vaseline on the PASSENGER side windshield wiper. (Not the drivers side because you don’t want to cause an accident. But when it starts to rain they will of course turn on their windshield wipers and the passenger one will smear Vaseline across the passenger side windshield. Of course since it is a petroleum product water will do nothing but bead off so they wil have to stop the car and in the rain manually wipe it off

If it is a Co-Worker then bring into work a single large frozen shrimp. When no one is around take their office chair and where it adjusts unscrew it and drop the frozen shrimp inside the chair and put it back together. This is a “stink bomb” of the highest magnitude and usually will “go off” after a few days. Frozen means it gives you a longer time for denial.

You can also do this to hotels that really piss you off. Just take a screw driver and take the hotel phone apart. Plop in a frozen shrimp. Screw it back together. Then check out knowing that at least one hotel room will stink to high heaven after a few days and it will take them forever to find out the reason for the smell.

One that takes a few friends or some patience is to go buy TWO full size water melons. Cut them in half. Jack up their car and slide a half of watermelon under each tire. The car will just sit their and spin its tires without going anywhere for awhile.

Superglue their mailbox shut

“Pennylock” their doors. This is done by staking a couple of pennies on each other and slide them in the door frame on the hinges side. The stacked pennies will keep the door from opening trapping the person inside. This is especially fun at college dormitories.