Indicators that you have aged: open list

From this mornings experiences.

  1. You take a light hike with a 30lb pack and can’t move for a week.
  2. You ask your youngest to borrow their car while yours is in the shop.
  3. Your eldest is a valid source for a quick loan
  4. Your favorite shirt is older than the adults in the 5 member family that just moved in across the street.
  5. You hear the phrase “modern computing” and look for the keyboard and mouse.
  6. You hear a bell from a ringing phone and search all the walls for the source, not your pocket.

To which, you may add:

1/ Middle-aged women hold the door open for you.
2/ Spell check does not recognize words you’ve used since childhood.
3/ Clerks automatically give you a senior discount.
4/ You have a daughter who’s retired.

Together with:

  1. You find yourself saying “Pardon?” every time someone utters a sentence containing more than three words.
  2. Your treasured slide-rule is now a curio in an antiques and collectables TV show.
  3. You’re bang on the beat as you drum the steering wheel when the radio belts out The Lovin’ Spoonful’s Summer In The City.


1. Your practically-grown-up children refuse to walk up and down stairs with you because of the noise your knees make.

2. Several of your best friends announce independently that they’re retiring from work.

3. If you go out for a meal at lunch time, you find that you haven’t got any appetite at all in the evening.

4. You catch yourself talking about your trip to India as though it were somehow recent and relevant, when it was actually more than twenty years ago.

1. You realise you’ve switched from wondering what old school friends are up to now to whether they are alive or not.

2. [Men] You find yourself sitting down to urinate because it’s a chance to sit down.

3. [Men] You find yourself standing up to urinate because it’s easier on your knees.

4. An album you think of as ‘contemporary’ has just been reissued in a 25th anniversary special edition.

  1. When one of your students asks if they can call you “Grandpa”.*

  2. When you realise the day after that that’s the 40th time you’ve forgotten your wedding anniversary.

  3. When people think you’re a bit odd because you hold the door open for them.

  4. When people write articles in local magazines about you knowing how to walk properly with a neatly furled, full-length umbrella.

Mr X

  • That did happen, and I blush to admit that I was flattered.

For the not-so-old-yet-but-kinda-starting-to-get-it crowd…

  1. When you realise you haven’t opened that taped up box of cassette tapes and CDs for a long while now… and then you further despair because it is a box of cassette tapes and CDs.
  2. You keep wondering why parents can’t be bothered to push their own babies around in strollers any more and have to hire babysitters to do it. Then in a mortifying flash of enlightenment you realise, those aren’t the babysitters.
  3. Every time you’re at the check-out stand and the sign for minimum date of birth for tobacco purchases reminds you of something you’ve had on your to-do list since that year.
  4. You refuse to come up with four items for the list because only three would mean there is still a shred of hope… Oh.

1.) You can sing along with half the songs on the “oldies” station.
2.) Your nieces have no clue who Kurt Cobain is.
3.) You see a police officer and wonder if he/she can buy his/her own beer.
4.) Your nieces have no comprehension of Cold War paranoia.

  1. You realise, not without some embarrassment, that you’ve only listed the first of your two pages of indicators.
  2. What was once a fine head of hair is now reduced to a few outlying strands bivouacking on, and in, your ears.
  3. You have innocently asked for a fountain pen in a stationers, and don’t quite understand the blatant stares you’re now receiving.
  4. The sober realisation dawns that you can name more dead rock stars than live ones.
  5. You can recall being glued to the black & white television, watching Efrem Zimbalist Jr in 77 Sunset Strip.
  6. Despite all that, you’re cheered, knowing you still carry much of the hope and optimism that the ‘I Have A Dream’ speech instilled in your impressionable young heart.

Nice one Bro!! :wink:

(1) You are confused when you mention “Hi Speed Dubbing” and you get those blank stares.

(2) People don’t understand the sad look on your face when the name “Space Shuttle Challenger” is mention.

(3) The deer caught in the headlights look when you mention the “Berlin Wall”.

(4) When people around you think that “Pink Floyd” is a new ice cream flavor.

(5) Jokingly mention how you used AOL floppies as table levelers and no one gets the joke.

(6) No one around laughs when you hear a modem.

(7) When everyone around you thinks a “pager” is a person on an intercom.

(8) The term “shotgun” wedding is thought to be a NRA sponsored party.

(9) Turquoise iMac. Enough Said.

(10) When discussing music “8 track” is thought to be an album with only 8 songs.

(11) You grew up with “Come home when the street lights come on”.

(12) Toy guns looked real and didn’t have orange caps on the end.

(13) Paddling in school was not an outdoor boating event.

(14) The importance of a mix tape.

(15) Sitting by the radio with your finger on the pause button waiting to record your favorite song.

(16) When late at night stations went “off the air” and would post the test screen with that loud annoying tone sound.

(17) Floor Model TVs

(18) Carburetors on cars.

(19) seat belts were only lap belts.

(20) you were taught to double space after a period.

1 to 9: As previously stated.

10: Er…anyone know where I might have left the last fifty years? :neutral_face:

How about:

Interviewing a potential employee and realizing your kids are older than the person on the other side of the conference table.

Hmmm…that’s good for twenty-five, I suppose. Damned if I can find the remainder though.

The green text in The Matrix triggered flashbacks of CP/M.

8" floppies isn’t rude.

You experienced the modern marvel of the 5¼" floppy and the amazing speed increase over tape.

You remember wondering only a few years later if you could ever fill a 10mb hard disk.

You forget the sound of dot matrix printers enough to mistake nostalgia for thinking you miss it.

True story from this morning:
My boss and I are looking at the “new kid” (mentioned previously) and he is talking about how slow the 2 core 1GHz ARM processor in his phone is. Then he laments the limited 64GB storage and low 4GB ram. I look at my boss and say, “10 years ago we could get a system with that spec for under $5K”. My boss looks at me and says, “they make phones with more than one core now?”

I guess the grey hairs have come to us at the right time.

Are you referring to the moustache, the nasal hair, or the languishing remnants of the pate crew?

There’s a difference between a moustache and nasal hair?

All the above.

  1. You know who Jay Silverheels was.

  2. You know who said “Book 'em, Danno”, and where and to whom.

  3. You can remember the first time you heard Leonard Cohen sing Suzanne - and he sang it about two octaves higher than he does now.

  4. You can recall what you were doing on November 22nd 1963 as if it was yesterday - and (if you were residing in the UK at the time) what also happened in the early evening of November 23rd.