Keith I have a collective offer of help


We love you. I think you know that. Yet we, your adoring customers, make diametrically opposed demands on you. To wit:
• feature, bug, beer dispenser requests for scriv
• support, dealing with vic-k, rss feed implementation on the forums
• write the novel so we have more reading materials
• make those kids USEFUL members of society.

I have taken it upon myself to devise a way that ALL scrivener groupies can come to your aid. I am sharing my first concept with you in the hopes that the collective scriverati will agree with this method of assistance.

The core of this plan is a “carrot and stick” philosophy. I believe the current studies that show that reward is a much better motivator then punishment, but those of us who grew up “south of the line” know just how motivating a cast iron skillet can be (especially if it was just used for frying chicken). I believe that this plan provides a sufficient amount of carrot to make up for any application of the stick.

As many of us are aware, slipping deadlines are caused by many different issues. Some we control, and some we do not. A buggy text engine in OS-X is not an issue that anyone other than Apple can address. We have attempted to address the number of posts vic-k answers using different mental sates collectively, but we like vic-k and his avatar is cute. I propose that we, the scriverati, vic-k, Wock and I (the last three should never be allowed to qualify as scriverati), do for you is provide motivational assistance. All that we require from you KB, are the following:
• shipping address
• project with deadline
• regular status updates

Here is how this works. We start by determining the appropriate “motivation escalation” lead time requirements. Once agreement has been reached the scriverati+3 monitor your status updates. Based on your updates we can alter the “motivation escalation” lead time to reflect the state of your progress. Good progress reduces the lead, slow progress increases the lead. Once the lead arrives we enter phase one. If progress does not improve we enter phase two. If progress continues to slide we move into phase three (you don’t want to be here, trust me).

In phase one we (the scriverati+3) ship useful hominids to you with return shipping included. Supplies for maintenance of the hominid should also be included. Hominids used for this phase are to be self sufficient and capable of providing childcare, domestic services around the household, and potentially even assist with basic coding and beta testing. The primary objective for these hominids is to free KB cycles.

Phase two is a continuation of phase one. The significance of phase two is the change in quality of hominid sent. The hominids used for this phase MAY be useful for some domestic household tasks, but traditionally do little other than create tension between the phase one hominids and the caretakers (in this case you/KB). Hominids in this class are known to dislike baths, vegetables and bedtime. Again, return postage and basic maintenance items are included.

If for some reason motivation is still lacking we will be forced to consider phase three. Phase three should be avoided at all costs. In phase three we no longer send hominids, but teenagers, neighborhood cats, parrots, nagging wives/husbands, and well used gym socks (unwashed). While this sounds like a stick we (the scriverati+3) would see this as a carrot. It would buy you some time as we (the scriverati+3 again) would actually have peace and quite in our homes, all our trash still in the can every morning, not hear every bit of gossip the spouse talked about, and we would be able to smell the roses. We might actually forget what we were waiting for.

I think using this motivation strategy will “light a fire” where no one really wants a fire to be lit. I estimate that using this process you should be able to complete scrivener version 1.12 to 7.8 (beer dispenser would be an additional cost), get a fully supported rss feed developed and your novel written, edited and published by 3:30PM tomorrow. I am not sure that this methodology will work with the child rearing.

What do you say? I have mine boxed and waiting.


A guide to building a moonshine still

Mes Amis,
Im afraid it is now Le Scrivenerati +2.5, as I, Led, have received an email from a Mr.Stephen King, informing me that he likes the way Ive narrated my Alter egos woeful saga, and as a consequence, would like us to collaborate on his next project.

Le D :smiling_imp:

I wish I could find my soddin`decanter!

Fluff, rat, L’D, vic-k. I’ll grant you fluff, but the blige rat is long established as a coconspirator in the psycosis you inhabit. As such at best you have a value of 0.33333333333333. Granted this assumes that all aspects of your nightmare are “created equal” (the least practiced trait of Americanism).

should in fact have written

Now I must away, and check my emails. Mr King may be in need of my assistance.
Le D :smiling_imp: