youtube.com/watch?v=kfLQFGX … C5&lf=plcp
McMurdo Shore
(AT THE FUEL DESK OF WILLIAMS FIELD, ANTARCTICA.)
GEORGE
(George is standing near his desk, talking on the phone.)
Ma, Antarctica is amazing! I love working at McMurdo Station.
(Beat)
No, better than being a fuel attendant. I work inside, and watch the guys service the planes.
(Beat)
They said the weird guy would be back from vacation today. So I said, ‘Let me tell you about the weird guy I used to know–’
TOM
(Enters from rear, cold weather gear obscures his face.)
Yo, chief! I know we got four cargo planes coming in like, now–
GEORGE
Gotta go, Ma.
TOM
(He starts removing gear)
But I wanted to say ‘hi’, 'cuz you’re the new guy and all-- (Tom is dumbstruck. He can’t believe his eyes.)
GEORGE
(Warily, more than a bit frightened.)
Tom?!
TOM
(Elation gets the better of him.)
GEORGE!
(He makes a start towards George, but regains his composure.)
I see you’re still in the oil business as well. I didn’t underestimate you, did I?
GEORGE
Stop it! You can’t-- I won’t–!
TOM
(Turns away, towards the crowd.)
I know. I’m no good for you. Alas, you’ve chosen the wrong time to come back into my life.
GEORGE
What?! Your life?! It’s been nine months since I decided you were crazy.
TOM
Nine long months of running to the end of the earth. I though it would be far enough to keep me away from you.
GEORGE
Well, you were wrong!
TOM
George, how can fate be wrong?
(He holds out his hands, palms up)
'Tis out of my hands, truly.
GEORGE
Now you’ve got me thinking about…
(He shudders)
Those raccoons again.
TOM
George, must you be so cruel? You’re thinking about-- my wee-handed princess. She is lost to me, so kindly remove the icicle that you have plunged into my heart.
GEORGE
(Frustrated)
How do you keep doing this to me?
TOM
I? I, who have sacrificed myself to free my boon companion of his demented colleague?
GEORGE
Yes! I mean no! Augh! I like my new life. And I want to keep my job!
TOM
Geo-orge, I have a new plan…
GEORGE
Like the ‘build a zeppelin in mom’s backyard’ plan?
TOM
Would you tell your mother I said ‘thank you’ for the sweater?
GEORGE
What?! MY mom made YOU a sweater?!
TOM
She’s knitting one for you without the tiny zeppe–
GEORGE
Wait a minute-- Mom’s the one that told me about this job!
TOM
(Overemphasizing the first words)
Did she? George, what are the odds?
(Beat)
We are, you know, in a land rich with opportunities…
GEORGE
No, we aren’t!
TOM
(Catches himself, turns away)
Nay! Thou hast said such thoughts disturb thee.
GEORGE
Tell me you brought something to read besides ‘The Lord of the Rings’.
TOM
YES! They have that at the library, anyway.
GEORGE
How did you pass the evaluations?
TOM
I’ve had some…
(He does a full-body spasm)
Therapy… And I made connections as I worked my way south.
GEORGE
You got a guy at Inter Global Logistics?!
TOM
Umm…
GEORGE
MY mom got YOU a job here FIRST?!
TOM
Your mother and I have always gotten along well.
(Beat)
Now is a new chance for greatness!
GEORGE
I don’t want any part of it.
TOM
Oh, really? There’s quite a few people around here interested in being part of something… Different…
GEORGE
Tom, how did you do all this? Your schemes never work out.
TOM
Well…
(Beat)
Freed of the need to consider your health, safety, and welfare, George, I did some things that I am neither proud of, nor shall I ever speak of, for my own words would doom me to the Underground Prison.
GEORGE
I didn’t know you could be so ruthless.
TOM
That’s why I needed–
(Spasms again)
therapy. Now, I’ve made contact with the penguins, though their tongue is strange, and their ways of thought very different.
GEORGE
Penguins?
TOM
Only the emperors. But they think I’m just another documentary filmmaker. Their world is more of a soap opera than most people realize. Though it could be a subtle request for a bribe.
GEORGE
That won’t be easy.
(To himself)
No, don’t start thinking about it!
TOM
I can get you a tuxedo-- and it’s good to see that the wheels are turning.
GEORGE
What?! No! This is like your plan to build a third internet.
TOM
There’s a place out there where we can build the city of the future… We’ll call it ‘Iscandar’.
GEORGE
Next you’ll be talking about building those giant robot suits again!
TOM
(hurt once more)
I’m a buddhist now, George. I’ve renounced violence. And in the vernacular they’re called Mecha.
GEORGE
Mecca? You said you were a buddhist!
TOM
Mecha. The second ‘c’ is an ‘h’. Now, the penguins have shown me a promising location for the first dome…
GEORGE
Domes?
TOM
I could show you, George.
GEORGE
I…
(Beat)
Haven’t gone anywhere yet. Penguins, you said?
TOM
Better that I live with them than risk going north again.
GEORGE
Something’s different about you, Tom…
TOM
Perhaps… But think of all we were able to accomplish as a team!
GEORGE
I’m not sure I’d call some of that stuff accomplishments.
TOM
But some of ‘that stuff’ was! And now-- together again!
GEORGE
I do kinda miss… You know, the penguin thing we could sell as reality tv-- McMurdo Shore!
TOM
That’s the George I need!