my wife passed away this morning

If you need folks to listen, please allow us the honor of filling that role.

Where should our condolences be sent?

Wow… I haven’t the foggiest notion. What’s customary in such a situation?

The kids and I mostly just want to law low for a while. We’re all pretty much exhausted.

The sun’s shining now, and I think it’s about time for a bike ride down by the river.

p.s. She and I were co-workers and friends for two years, then one night we went from zero to steady in five seconds. something a bit like your sig, Jaysen.

Kev,
The most potent antidote to the downtimes, will be the happy memories. Theyre Mauras legacy to you and your children. Enjoy them.
You and the kids should get away for a spell.
Take care
Vic

Some folks request like to suggest charitable contributions, other prefer remembrances at internment.

If your experience has been like mine, there is nothing that will make this any easier. Stay strong. Remember that we are thinking of you.

Well, if someone were to wish to make a charitable contribution, I would suggest the American Cancer Society and/or the Susan G. Komen Foundation. We got some help from each of them during our five years on cancer planet.

Or any other organization fighting cancer, really.

Sincere condolences, and my prayers for you and your family.

thanks, vic-k

Your family is in our prayers

I hope you and kids are doing ok. Christmas is a harsh time to lose someone so close.

And now we enter the hell of probate. A merry effin’ xmas indeed :open_mouth:

She gave me two fine, brave, intelligent children. They are doing well under the circumstances. They certainly have more confidence in me than I do just now.

Kind thoughts are always appreciated.

And that is why you and your children, although it will be hard, will have a very wonderful and heartfelt Christmas. That is what she would want and I know that is what y’all will give her. With that love comes the true spirit of Christmas.

We wish your family a very merry Christmas despite all the hardships you all have had to endure.

I am thinking of you and your family often these days, Kevin. :frowning:
The kids are a godsend at such times. Their energies and spirits are always so much stronger, more resilient. A few days ago my son’s girlfriend, an absolutely lovely girl of 20, lost her Dad (55) to lymphoma. He leaves behind a wife and 4 kids. Then I ran into an old friend in the market today who lost her husband (again, in his late 50s) to brain cancer last May. Two sons, early 20s. My heart aches for them all, but Val assured me the kids handled it differently, saw life differently, and were a source of tremendous strength and confidence to her.

Maura’s great legacy, those two. She lives on in them in more ways than the obvious.

Christmas will be tough, no two ways about it. I don’t have any helpful advice to offer there, except know that there is a part of Maura that will be with you then, and always. Our memories only grow stronger when the source is elsewhere.

Sending love and sympathy–

Zoe

Quick update - No need to feed the will to the probate monster. For good or ill, we are once again masters of our own fate.

We adopted a Clan motto after we moved to Oregon: Operer non existo bardus. “Do not be stupid.”
Maura had an extreme distaste for stupid. I know what she expects of me.

That includes returning to my writing, eventually. I still need some time.

My kindda woman Kev :smiley:

Its, [i]'time'[/i] that does the healing, Kev, and itll move at its own pace, but it will move. Dont hurry it along. Have a peaceful Christmas. My thoughtsll be with you and the kids.
Take care
Vic

Kevin:

Fist, please accept my condolences for your loss.

You and I haven’t spoken on this forum, so forgive the unsolicited advice from a stranger, but I think you’re right: Maura would have wanted you to keep writing. Anyone who loves you would – a sharp woman like that especially.

Be steely in your resolve to produce pages, even if you don’t think you’re ready. You’ll find your writing to be a good and reliable friend, a trusted confidant, and the best therapist out there. (Or, at least, the cheapest.) Even if the first efforts are crap, please remember that this is you controlling the outcome, you making the rules. I imagine that kind of control might prove to be something of a balm in these days.

Our thoughts are with you. Best of luck. Get to work.

SC