CHARACTERS
LIEUTENANT REDSHIRT Navigator/Cannon Fodder, and Member of Clan Redshirt.
M’KCHATH Security/Tactical officer, and Warrior of the planet K’ek–K’el.
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR Queen of the Lost Moon, and quite possibly The First Goddess in disguise.
MR. ZOK Science/Number One, and Inscrutable Alien.
CAPTAIN SMACKWORTHY Captain of the Intrepid, and Scrutable Earthling.
THE CHAMPION Greatest Warrior of the Lost Moon.
QUEEN’S RETAINERS Because Queens have such people.
SETTING
In the high desert foothills on the Lost Moon.
TIME
Late Afternoon.
ACT I
Scene 1 On the rocks. Now.
Scene 2 Still on the rocks. Later.
ACT [1]
SCENE [1]
(Redshirt and M’Kchath take their positions stage left. M’Kchath is armed with a large, edged weapon. The players stand still for the beginning of the opening narration.)
(music up.)
NARRATOR
(Voice–over.)
Time for another astonishing––
(Music: theme)
(Redshirt leans back, terrified. M’Kchath places the weapon close to Redshirt’s neck.)
NARRATOR
(Continued.)
SPACE SKETCH! Tonight: The Lost Moon of K’ek–K’el!
M’KCHATH
Hah–hah, my friend! By Ch’Chutok’s Filet Knife, you have doubled the time it takes to best you!
REDSHIRT
You mean…?
M’KCHATH
Yes! Two minutes now! Another round?
REDSHIRT
(Raises a hand.)
Commander, please. A break.
M’KCHATH
Right. I’m just just so excited to be here. We’ve found the Lost Moon! Warriors will soon honor your name and mine in song!
REDSHIRT
But we’ve lost another shuttlecraft. I thought we were done for.
(Picks up his quadcorder and starts walking about the stage.)
M’KCHATH
Any progress with communications?
REDSHIRT
Unknown. Whatever made us crash is still affecting the gear we have left, including our schmazers.
(Points schmazer at his head and pulls trigger.)
M’KCHATH
Then we will fight with whatever we have!
REDSHIRT
Um, so how did the moon get lost in the first place?
M’KCHATH
'Twas magic! The First Goddess, Shontar, overcome by grief at the loss of her mate Urong, Thane of the Gods, threw our sun, moons, and planets into the Long Night.
REDSHIRT
How could your world survive that?
M’KCHATH
The skalds tell us our race had to become strong to endure, and thus began our warrior tradition. When she was pleased with us, she released all save this moon, K’Wef.
REDSHIRT
You mean this is Kwef’s Buckle?
M’KCHATH
Aye, it was always known to be somewhere close by, holding things together.
REDSHIRT
(Returns to wreckage, puts on his jacket.)
It’s going to be cold tonight.
(Looking around, confused.)
Do you–– hear something?
(Music rises. K’ek–K’el Anthem.)
M’KCHATH
(Strains to hear.)
Can it be?! The first song a K’ek–K’el mother sings to her newborn babe? The Anthem of our People?
(Enter Queen Sh’An T’Ar and her retainers. They are lip syncing to the music.)
(M’Kchath joins in the song.)
(“Praise Be Our Eternal Glory”)
…GÄre gamiron San–ta e yo
sokoku no shori–o
ACT [1]
SCENE [2]
(The Queen moves to the fore, and faces the pair.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Imperious.)
Hold, intruders! Or defend thyselves unto death!
(Redshirt starts to say something trenchant, but M’Kchath motions him to be silent.)
M’KCHATH
(Beat)
(He remembers the ancient words.)
Yea, we will fight, and we will die smiling, if thou art worthy of our blood.
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Still imperious.)
Warrior! Name thyself and thy Clan!
M’KCHATH
M’Kchath, of House Gronk’Arr.
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Less formal now, more relaxed.)
An old, and honored name. I am Queen Sh’An T’Ar, descended from the First Goddess Herself.
REDSHIRT
(Amazed.)
By Shontar’s Bodkins!
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Annoyed. To M’Kchath.)
It’s talking to me. What is it?
M’KCHATH
An Earthling, brave son of Clan Redshirt. He is my lieutenant and boon companion on my Quest.
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(A bit of a laugh here.)
A Dirtling? The galaxy has changed since I’ve been gone.
(Wondering why this sounds familiar, thinking out loud now.)
A Redshirt…
M’KCHATH
Yea, your highness, K’Wef has been lost for thousands of years.
REDSHIRT
(Realizing now, excited, somehow.)
(Stage whisper.)
She looks just like––
M’KCHATH
(Shushes him to silence.)
(Stage Whisper)
Not now, Lieutenant!
(The Queen turns brusque again.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
Only the worthy may stand on the sacred moon. Bring forth the the champion!
(The champion comes forth. M’Kchath is afraid, for the first time ever, at the sight of this mighty opponent.)
M’KCHATH
(Stage whisper.)
We may not survive.
REDSHIRT
(Non–plussed.)
We?!
(Regains composure.)
It’s been a pleasure serving with you.
(M’KChath hands him a weapon. Redshirt turns to face the champion.)
REDSHIRT
I am a Redshirt, after all.
(Redshirt and the Champion begin to circle.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Curious now, she looks at Redshirt more closely.)
Does this…
(Looks at M’Kchath for confirmation.)
Man?
(M’Kchath nods affirmative.)
Truly have no fear of death?
M’KCHATH
Earthlings are tougher than they appear.
REDSHIRT
(Resigned.)
It is my duty to die.
(Removes his jacket. The Retainers murmur in surprise.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Surprised, and remembering the prophecy.)
And he will come draped in red…
(A bit perplexed now, perhaps somewhat underwhelmed as well.)
We came back for him?
(The Champion prepares to strike another blow.)
HOLD!
(The combatants cease.)
Come closer, Dirt Man. I would know more.
(Redshirt advances towards the Queen. He wants a better look at her as well.)
ACT [1]
SCENE [3]
(Before the Queen can speak again, Redshirt’s comm badge activates.)
(SFX: Comm badge alert.)
SMACKWORTHY
(Voice Over Comm.)
Intrepid to away team.
REDSHIRT
Captain!
SMACKWORTHY
Stand by. We are under attack.
(SFX: On Hold music starts.)
M’KCHATH
(Over hold music.)
Those warriors are overzealous to secure K’Wef, I fear.
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
They cannot hold my moon, or me. Alas, you must go for now, M’Kchath of Gronk’Arr. But only you, of all the K’ek K’el, will be able to find K’Wef again.
SMACKWORTHY
Away team, prepare for transmorph.
(SFX: Queen’s theme up.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
And as for you, Dirtling, pay heed to your dreams. They may be trying to tell you something.
REDSHIRT
My dreams?
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
You are a child of Clan Redshirt, but your destiny is changing.
REDSHIRT
(A bit melodramatic.)
Yea, such tidings! Says who?
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(A bit offended. Hands on hips now.)
Says the Goddess–Queen!
(Redshirt has been staring intently at Queen Sh’An T’ar for some time now.)
QUEEN SH’AN T’AR
(Notices what Redshirt has been doing.)
What?
REDSHIRT
You–– remind me of someone.