The future

The next version of Scrivener is going to randomly throw up dialogue boxes saying, “Well, this is crap, isn’t it?” and “Seriously, why bother?” Just in case users don’t have that inner voice, Scrivener will provide it.

Because the outer voices just aren’t persistent enough?

Last thing I need is my innervoice AND scrivener reinforcing what everyone else says…


The v14 Beta just threw this message: “Don’t quit your day job, loser.” and then blue screened. So it seems the Windows guys are already on it.

I’d prefer something like “Wow, you’re a real genius”, and then you have to decide if it is being ironic or not. :smiley:

This should be a subscription service $10/month to start, and $20/month to make it stop!

Well, this is crap, isn’t it? Seriously, why bother? This is genius!

Turns out this system also works on the forum.

I think that’s already an error message in csound.

you could just go through Hitchhiker’s Guide and mine Marvin’s dialog? I’m sure my scrivener feels that way. Every time I click the icon.

I hesitate to tell this story but since it happened almost thirty years ago why not? I was working at a publishing consultancy that designed and installed systems as well as providing classes introducing Illustrator, QuarkXpress, etc. We had one instructor who was good but who also harbored an exaggerated view of his design skills. It was very irritating . . . to everyone. So, one day in a fit of whatever I got to work early, opened ResEdit, and modified his QuarkXpress print dialog:

This design aesthetically unacceptable Please Retry or Cancel

We were all in an open space with standard walled-off carrels so you could hear everything. That afternoon, after classes, we were all treated to a squawk and bellowed oaths of simply delightful volume (plural, you see, because each time he tried again he got the same dialog).

It was just lovely.


Pangur is flat on his back, slapping the floor with his front paws, and hissing, “That’s *&>@<%!g hilarious!!”
But I think it’s very cruel, Master David … very cruel :cry:

I have another suggestion, because I’m procrastinating write (edit: omg I meant right :blush: :laughing: ) now while Scrivener is open: “Start writing!” or something like that and not only in a dialogue box but also with an annoying voice. Maybe followed by “Hey, stop checking your social media profiles and start writing now.”

I really need a push or something. Arschtritt, as we Germans say.

Yes, these annoying comments/reminders need to follow us wherever we go. So, when that Mother of All Scriveners version comes out, the Forum will need to be reconfigured so your posts will not pass without commentary:


Without joke: Scientific studies show, that only about 4% of the population is learning or performing better, when you put them down.
So there should be a new preference in the Appearance section of Scrivener Preferences called Random Motivational Messages with options like:

  • Put me down
  • Encourage me (“You are doing good”)
  • Encourage me the Christian way (“God is watching and helping you right now”)
  • Encourage me the New Agey Way (“The energy flow right now is supporting you”)
  • Encourage me the Coffee Way (“It is time for a coffee break”)

  • :slight_smile:

They do better dead than alive?! :laughing: :laughing:

Dear Fluff, please ask the one of your alternative selves who’s a welder what his mates got up to.


Young Master David,
Nowhere within the encyclopaedic outpourings of Sigmund Freud and his co-conspirator Carl Jung, have they ever alluded to, even in the vaguest way, that the pussy cat and its nine lives phenomenon, in anyway equates to schizophrenia. In all of my nine earthly lives, and even now, in my Astral Plane existence, I was and am … just me.

However, Master David, your mentioning of ‘Welders’ does muddy the waters somewhat.

As a species, welders possess more …phrenias, than any other species on the planet. I don’t doubt that Schizo… is in there with them, somewhere. Obviously, above, you are referring to the human that I kindly allowed to remain in his home with his breeding partner, and pups, when I moved in, in Spring 1999.

Excuse me for a moment, young David, Pangur is whispering in my ear.
What is it, pangur? He wrote what!? That’s correct, he did, didn’t he, and repeated them on numerous occasions, too? That as well. I remember it. I don’t think I should be repeating it, though. What! I should? Why? Master David is barking up the wrong tree … did you have to say BARKING!? We are cats, y’ know. However, Pangur, I think you are right.

Young Master David, Pangur has pointed out that throughout his 7000+ posts, Vic-k, to whom, I think, we are both referring, has mentioned on numerous occasions, various facets of what could legitimately call, ’Social Intercourse’ ie. ‘Gymnasticated Fornication’; Bondage& Sado-Masochism etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., and so-on and so forth.

One hesitates to point out flaws in a fellow crew members proffered thesis, however, Master David, the aforementioned instances of human interaction, I feel, one could safely assume, are entered into freely, and in anticipation of enjoying oneself … however perverted and painful the experience … unlike your poor, ‘irritating instructor’ who as I said (seems aeons ago) was, In my opinion, treated very cruelly.
Take care Master David,

PS Pangur has just pointed out to me, that, had I been in your shoes, I’d have done exactly the same!
smelly smart-arse Pangur!! hissssssssss hisssssssss :imp:

Just when you think that the eugenics craze is finally over… :unamused: