… often condemned as a liminal, criminal limb of the limbic umbilical, hysterical Jellicle-follicled Macavity depravity that is…
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…what Dr. Humboldt’s head feels like when the air pressure drops.
To clear the fog, he headed over to Matea, Aromas y Sabores, a mate salon on Ayacucho in Recoleta, one of Buenos Aires’s most affluent and upscale neighborhoods. Sipping his yerba mate through the bombilla, Humboldt felt the brain fog dissipate and clarity return. Just then, he remembered his time in Cameroon with the Mambila and his encounter with a Ngam—the Spider Oracle. The oracle’s prophecies had been enigmatic at the time, but …
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, now, the mate cutting through the tangle of the prophecy’s webs like a searing hot knife through ten pounds of butter he realized that the Brassica universe he held so dear was nothing compared to the immense power of bangers & mash and resolved forthwith to return to
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his local restaurant where they understood the meaning and value of calories, excess and indulgence - the most important pointers of the food pyramid. That was until he was caught
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…in the web of the Spider Oracle and had to deal with a future he already knew would happen, a future of more non-sequitors, unless…
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… that hairy old harlot from Hesse (never a competent dresser) who dropped down her drawers and gave quite a pause to her innocent Father Confessor, remembered to…
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wear the bra she carries in her purse when in public,
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… which puzzzled our dear old Comtesse (as dumb as they come, I confess), "That’s so infra dig that one must be a pig adopting such state of undress – but that’s the lower…
…limit of the algebriac polynomial of the Euler–Riemann ζ (zeta) function. But applying Chebyshev polynomials to the Dirichlet eta function Dr. Humboldt (still sipping his yerba mate) produced a very rapidly convergent series suitable for high precision numerical calculations vital for…
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…Mongolization. Likewise, since the distinctive late imperial female dress (the qipao)
of the EAH and the traditional male hairstyle (the queue) were both derived from the…
Shaking his head, and spilling his mate, Homboldt thought, “What do Mongols have do with this? Everyone knows that these where de rigueur for the Manchus of the Qing dynasty who forcibly imposed the queue on the Han people of the former Ming.
“To hell with the law – I’m keeping my sublime mullet !!” and so to scream the dissidents,
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… replied, ‘Please can we stop all ze digs? You act like a pack of rude pigs. Alors, ma toupée devient d’un’ poupée - Mais Dolly, she ‘ave jolie wigs’ and stared ferociously Frenchly at her …
… unfounded vanity. Causing van Homboldt to muse (between sips from his bombilla), “So that is what Monsieur Talleyrand meant when he called the Emperor of the French ‘a $hit in silk stockings.’”
C’est toujours tout de même tolérable par jour de grands vents ;
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하지만 말을 냇가에 끌고 갈 수는 있어도
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Napoleon, Emperor of the French, leaped onto the horse he found at the stream and charged magnificently into the Bois de Boulogne in pursuit of a wild boar. Talleyrand had arranged everything with his customary efficiency: the horse, the hunt, and even the boar. There was only one small defect in the arrangements. The boar was a pig who smelled like the $hit in his silk stockings.
And the same error appeared again: Connection refused to ratings.naturerleben
Dr. van Humboldt was now certain that someone had put Ayahuasca into his yerba mate and he had slipped into a terrifying world-pool of absurdism and non-sequiturs with no plot line to speak of. Was there light at the end of the tunnel?…
Yes! Unfortunately, the tunnel ends in a ‘T’ with light coming from both directions. Which to take? The platform for the Orient Express or the one for Kensington? He quivered in an intense bout of cogitation and…