I read once somewhere, where a typewriter was used in a story as a bludgeon to beat another character to death.
Don’t put ideas in my head. I’ve got this second hand Apple Extended Keyboard II (US Layout) in my bedroom… 
Not as effective. Not enough mass to build enough kinetic energy to inflict serious damage. I speak from experience. Snort has broken a number of keyboards, more than one by application of said device to my cranium.
For the record I deserved it. She let me off easy.
Nothing works better than a cast iron skillet that has hot bacon grease in it. Excellent mass, a handy handle for gripping power when things get messing, and of course hot bacon grease in the face guarantees minimum ability for the intended victim to fight back efficiently.
Unfortunately not found in most office environments, though.
If I stormed into my husband’s office with a skillet full of hot bacon grease, he’s smart enough to escape through the window before I could hit him with it. (Office is on the second floor. Doesn’t matter.) The keyboard, OTOH, is right there already.
Katherine
Katherine Mon Amour,
This is a whole new facet to your ‘phersu’ 8) Is this 'therapy’?
Do I need to make an appointment, Chérie ?
Le D
Distract him by saying.
“Look honey! I made you something gooooooood.”
Sorry, Monsieur. My favorite therapy involves tossing like-minded aikido students around and/or whacking them with swords. If I’m pointing a loaded skillet in your direction, it’s time to run.
Katherine
Reminds me of a lot of Southern Women I know. If I see you holding anything other than a fuzzie bunny I would run.
I can’t claim to be a Southern Woman ™, having spent almost my entire life up North. But my mother is, and my grandmothers and great grandmothers on both sides were.
Oh yeah, and you’ve got to be careful about those fuzzy bunnies, too: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_of_Caerbannog
Katherine
Ahhh Oui, oui, oui Chérie! Ouuui!! Veuillez oui! 8)
Le D
I KNEW there was southern blood in your veins! I could tell by the Sword smacking people tossing method of therapy. I bet you scare the heeby geebies out of all them northerners.
[size=50]ps the bunny scared me[/size]
It seems the the northern species is a tad yellow until they are motivated by… Not sure what. Maybe potholes.
Seems to me that we should have won the …
Ah, Aikido, the wondrous art of falling down gracefully. And helping others fall down gracefully. Sometimes a lot 
It’s good therapy, but only if you’re willing to accept that everything that’s good for you is gonna hurt 
Exactement!! M`sieur Clangy. Exactement!!!
Oui, la vie est douloureuse, et la vie est bonne!
The more excruciating the better, M`sieur!!
Coming in somewhat late, I admit, but I am concerned about the notion of having a second hand Apple Extended Keyboard II (US Layout) at all, let alone in the bedroom. Given the specificity of the location within the domestic architectural framework, and the fact that Apple = temptation, other readers imaginations will supply them with the ghastly WWII scenario signinstranger is clearly invoking. Woe upon you, signinstranger. You have mentioned the war!
As for Wock – all that rubbish about Southern Women. Ha! Have you thought that the southern women of the most populous nation on earth might go into domestic battle swinging not a skillet but a wock? That would add a certain je ne sais quoi to the conflict, would it not? :mrgreen:
Oh yesss pleeeease!! please!please!please!please!please!please!!!
A case of “watch the feathers fly”, eh?