We are listening. (A note from the NSA)

This has been a NSA (National Security Agency) audit. Thank you for all your participating against your will. We have now data mined all your information and contact information and of course bugged all of your *embassies. We of course will use all of this information without any oversight or permission and will work hand in hand with all technology companies in ensuring a positive government monitoring experience for all of our citizens and allies citizens. We look forward to censoring your complete digital life and making sure that only approved lifestyles and communications are allowed. In the infamous words of John Kerry "Spying on allies is not unusual we keep the spirit alive that started with Project Echelon and continued with other “secret” projects like Room 641a, Operation ThinThread, and of course the Trailblazer Project.

[size=150]In Mother United States we listen to you![/size]


[size=85]* If you are living in an Ally country your embassy was bugged. If you are not an ally then we give you free reign to all our sensitive data and networks, we will protect you from any and all retribution and will honor your religious freedoms and protect your rights at the costs of our own citizens and allies rights and freedoms. Feel free to fuck our asses at will. PS no murlocs were hurt in this online parody of super secret monitoring services.[/size]

That’s nothing. Do a search for “insider threat program”. The era of Drunken Joe McCarthy is back, and this time it’s going to be much, much worse. The instigators will be sober. The Insider program has already moved to the Federal Department of Agriculture - Agriculture? What’s with that? - and a couple of others.

According to a Pentagoon insider, reading Salon.com and The Onion constitutes a reason to be suspicious of anyone. Can you imagine the silliness of that? Reading material is seen as a threat. I am so happy I live in a foreign country. Unfortunately, there’s no doubt that other countries will adopt similar programs, as they did with HUAC, dirty Eddie Hoover and his filthy FBI spying and the like. Too bad, so sad for America and the paranoia it exports to the rest of the world.



Y’know, it isn’t often we find something to agree on politically, Wock, but I think this might be one such time. Hell, Rand Paul and Barney Frank agreed on it. :slight_smile:

It’ll be a bugger when all of us threats to global security, start using the SnailMail/Post again. Imagine all the junk mail that those poor slobs are gonna have to wade through!! :laughing: Talk about cross-eyed and migraine :smiling_imp:

But I regress. Instead let us look on the bright side. The united States creates the TOR network and this is still funded mainly by US tax dollars. The TOR network of course is rampant with organized crime, pedophiles and goat humpers and now is the perfect haven for the very people the Government is trying to “protect” everyone from. Nice to know our tax dollars go towards creating a safe haven for the lowest of the lows in the world.


What truly may be frightening is what isn’t really headline news. The new NSA data center that is close to completion in UTAH and the massive amount of data they can store…

Keep cool, the NSA ist mostly observing Germany. And then North-Corea and Iran.
I understand them, you never know what these germans are up to again, world war y? :wink:

Yeah I guess since they have full access to all those American companies they would only go through material if they found out you were over seas or communicating overseas. I mean they would never do anything that would be seen as over reaching or big brotherish like gather all meta data from Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint customers even though they are US citizens and have not many calls overseas or to known terrorists, bug our Allies embassies, or gather information from social networking sites and credit card information on US Citizens with no warrants or reason. Come to think of it other government agencies with similar oversight would never abuse their power either. I mean imagine if the IRS felt that they could single out and punish people based on their political views or party affiliations. Imagine if the head of the Department of Justice said drone strikes against American citizens were constitutional in part because the president said so.
Judge Jury and Executioner

Or what if the DOJ went after reporters and whistle blowers because they held an opposing view? I mean imagine if they misused their cyber abilities and were logging into a reporters computer because of a story they didn’t fit well with public image? Or what if they tried to criminally prosecute a reporter for trying to tell the truth when the government was caught in a bold faced lie?

Of course this is all unsubstantiated paranoia and what ifs because everyone on this planet knows that the American Government would never do anything “shady” and that all politicians tell the truth and are always looking out for they interests of the country and never themselves or their biggest donors.

I feel so much safer now knowing that Big brother has become Big mother and even this sardonic parody will probably be flagged for “Government Approval” since it contains certain key words.

Maybe if we all put our heads in the sand the problem of an ever continuing overreaching Government will just go away and we can all go back to ignorant bliss and Angry birds. Maybe American Idol can make a come back. Who knows?

I’d prefer Gunsmoke, personally. Good guys, bad guys, you knew where you were with Marshall Matt Dillon.

Saints preserve us!!! :open_mouth: That human’s codpiece looks deadlier than the huge gun he has strapped to his hip!!


I’m surprised that anyone’s surprised. Spying on allies has been going on for ages - I bet the Athenians and the Spartans were busy spying on each other as they faced the Persians. And if technology permits something to happen, you can be pretty sure that somebody will do it - and in Google, or indeed DevonThink and its competitors on the desktop, we all have examples of technology which if grossed up would fit the Prism bill.

Person to trusted person in an open space has probably always been the best counter-measure against eavesdropping - despite The Conversation. Yesterday I had a nice walk with a friend in a London park - but as it was just down the road from the MI5 building, we stayed away from the trees… :wink:

it seems that there isn,t a judge dredd poster in the same stallone big arm series as before so I made one.
that,s a gun by the way.
not a hairdryer.

Floss, is there no end to your talents?

i am unable to open tins of tuna.
sad, as if i could do this i really wouldn,t need to do any of the other things at all.

But cus, where y’ coming from? :open_mouth: That’s what we train humans for.
For all his myriad faults … and more besides, my useless guano heap of a human, is a miracle worker with a can of Pilchards and a jar of Italian Sun dried Tomato Pesto. His 'Fishy-in-the-Dishy, is renowned the length and breadth of Stockport, and further afield …I shouldn’t wonder. :confused:

Seek advice, cus … soon!
Worried Fluff :frowning:

First post, so hello everyone :slight_smile:
Is there a place & protocol for new comers to introduce themselves?

They got that covered too Komrad :slight_smile:
U.S. Postal Service Logging All Mail for Law Enforcement

Young Master Fred,
The crew of this old pirate tub Scrivener, to which, or whom, you have naively aligned yourself, are the Literary Sea’s bottom feeders … the scrapings from the barrel’s lowest depths. Bereft of scruples, and sustainers of the lowest standards and ethics imaginable. The only protocol you need observe, is: Keep your own counsel, and never, ever (no matter how heartrending their tales of woe), offer to lend any of them money.
Welcome aboard Scrivener, Master Fred…for what it’s worth, and believe me, that’s not a lot.

Everything written in the above post is completely true, but just bear this in mind: it’s been written by a pseudo-articulate, corrosively foul-mouthed albino cat. Need I say more? :confused:

(edited on revisit: seems I don’t know my bear from my bare. Ye gods!) :blush:

Feel free Master Bedturd … feel free :smiley:

A Softer World

Judders, Baby!!
Just think of them as: Bare-arsed…as opposed to bear’s arse. Simples init!! :smiley: