Who Stole My Internets?

REWARD: $0 for information leading to the capture of the Internet Outlaws.

Yesterday, someone disconnected my internet. No arrests have yet been made, but according to witnesses a white cat with a soured expression and a naked man carrying a picket sign were spotted in the area. One witness reported, “I thank dey was fureiners, cuz dey tawked funny.”

If seen, do not approach the suspects as they are considered to have arms and are extremely dangerous.

Well all I can say, young’n’, is, be very careful! They sound a right pair of weirdos.
Where are you posting from…an Internet restaurant? A book repository for poor people, like a Public Library? Where?

I feel for you, son. I know what it’s like to lose connection to the real world. For the past fortnight, I have suffered intermittent disconnection.

The mousehound’s muttering, “You should be used to that by now!”

Any way, the problem was sorted by three Cyber Super Heros: Hirsuitum Posterious Weldercusi ([size=85]c’est moi[/size]); The BBC LIghting Engineer, and The Man On Phone from Virgin Media. The thief was a maleficent evil bitch of a cable modem. It was thrown into the Abyss.

For a fee, we could come and sort out your prob, but we’d need somewhere to land.

Take care young’n’
Uncle vic

Whats this Internets you speak of?

It’s the dodad tha’ lets y’ see wotnots on y’ thingy. 'ope this 'elps

The original British spelling is “Internette” and it means a young female intern.

y’ just made tharrup!! :open_mouth:

I think he meant “In thair net”

or: In t’hair nets

Same thing?

Not really…but never mind that. Have y’ got 'em back yet? :confused:
Uncle Vic

I’ve got it back now. We’re running all cylinder. Be careful with that “uncle” stuff. You know around here, uncle and dad are kind of synonymous.

We figured out that you could have a grandma-ma-antie-sis.

Less direct line breeding, but association through marriage. I could figure our how to get a cousin in there…

Don’t worry. I can’t figure it out either. It may have something to do with the fact that I have a grandma-ma-antie-sis.

This explains it entirely.