Gorra be a con job … he’s just attention seeking … inhe … eh!?
If he is, and Mum and Maude gerra whiff of it, he;ll be forrit!
youtube.com/watch?v=y6pJZxzGc_0
Happy Birthday Nomskie 
I’d certainly like to bounce around with them and have a lot of fun. 
Must. Stop. Clicking. Vic-K. Supplied. Links.
Nom, unlike Mr K, the marginally rational among the +3 would off you a bottle of nice scotch. But… you’re Australian. You are therefore contaminated by Fosters (guilt by association) and unable to enjoy anything that is “nice”. A simple “happy birthday” must suffice.
Now that I type that I see vic-k’s point.
There’s always someone more than ready to lower the tone, and send us spiralling inexorable downwards t’ward the sewer. 
Time for a spot of counselling … perhaps?
Do take care
Dr Mulality
'twas a good one, albeit slightly delayed this year.
I’m not sure what bothers me more: the thought that you might be talking about the mother and her sister pretending to be kangaroos in vic’s video, or the thought you might be talking about Mum & Maude. 'Cause if the latter two knew that… Sorry, I’ll start that sentence again. When I tell them 
that you watched (and liked) vic’s video, I’m sure they’ll have a lot fun introducing you to Maude’s special “kangaroo purse bounce”. While you could use a mix of Google, deduction and disturbed imagination to work the nature Maude’s fun, you’re probably better not knowing (unless, of course, you hang out at the type of clubs that vic-k is known to be thrown out of).
Although is often some… tension… between Australians and our British and American counterparts, there is one thing for which we are grateful to our northern hemisphere friends: you take all our Fosters so we don’t have to drink it. It means there is so much more room in our bottle-shops and pubs for our micro-breweries (and even our major breweries now) to distribute their fine ales and crafted lagers. Thank you!
I don’t think I’ve had Fosters since 1989 (I was in the USA and someone bought it for me: I was polite and pretended to be grateful as I sipped from it until I could surreptitiously use it to water a pot-plant. Then someone gave me a Coors and I wished I’d kept my Fosters…).
If it helps you feel better about not offering me whiskey, I went to a whiskey bar on my birthday and tasted two excellent examples of Scotland’s finest: Bunnahabhain’s Toiteach and Bruichladdich’s Ochdamh-mór. Feel free to add both of those to the list of whiskeys to send me next year…
Following M&M’s involvement, the sewer could indicate an improvement.
They’re family, but… 
My offer stands: fly me there, provide appropriate board and lodgings, and I’ll provide an hour of therapy a day at no further charge…
Here y’ go. 'eyyup!! this is only 46%proof
Not sure about this other one either 
Only 59% proof. They’re nearly all water!!
Mind you, I suppose it’ll do for an Aussie’s jaded, jaundiced palletesque, palate
Tsk tsk tsk… I expected better from on old souse like yourself. Using the British standard* (100º proof = 4/7 ABV), then 46% ABV of the Bunnahabhain Toiteach = 80.5º proof
Using the British standard, the Bruichladdich Ochdamh-mór is 103º proof.
[size=85]*The USA redefined 100º proof as 50% ABV. Not sure if this was marketing (to makes their spirits sound heavier than they are), laziness (multiplying by 2 is easier than 1.75), or taxes (if the same ABV has a higher “proof”, and you tax alcohol based on the latter, I can see the attraction for the state).[/size]
or it just makes more sense.
Which we know is not true or we’d be metric.
But to prove that we learned that from the imperial overlords, I offer my '75 MG. On the right side of the car several bolt/nuts are SAE sized (empirical) on the other side the same bolts are metric. And before you say "that was a repair, my shop manual dated 1975 points this out as a caution to the mechanic. If there is a confusing way to do thing, the brits will choose that option.
liquor.com/expressions/jameson-irish-whiskey/
Check out proof o’ t’ proof, of a man’s drink !!
Yay it’s Nom’s birthday!
Let’s play it again! youtube.com/watch?v=SMWi7CLoZ2Q
Happy birthday, Nomibold.
There is that.
Although if you were going to go that route, you could just go 1:1 (proof = ABV).
At least you went metric with your currency.
I hear ya! How many pennies to a farthing? How many shillings to a pound? How many feet in yard? Or yard in a mile? And is that a land mile or nautical mile (and why are they different anyway)? And what sort of unit is a chain?
What am I checking out?
Jameson’s: 80 proof American standard, 70º proof (British standard)
Thank you. To show my appreciation, I found a pigfender video for you.
“Empirical nuts”, I like it!!!
Belated Happy Birthday, Nom. Sorry I’m so late, I’ve been away, sunning myself in the Lake District.
Mr X
My birthday decree: From this time forward, the official term for all on these boards who hail from England is “Empirical nuts”.
There is plenty of evidence to support the term.
I was going to make an exception in your case, but then I remembered some of your planned expeditions and where you have spent a good part of your professional life. Empirically nuts is probably more accurate. 
Thanks for the birthday wishes; I appreciate the effort made, especially after enduring the hardships of the Lake District in summer. Apologies for not accepting them more graciously. To help you understand the tensions underlying my reply, I bring to your attention that it’s the coldest winter in decades her in southern Australia (and you’ve been sunning yourself in the Lake District).