Y’all, I am cursed. My computers are going insane, my internet connection is on the fritz and gives out periodically throughout the day, and now I just spilled café mocha all over the keyboard. Argh! Some diabolical sprite* is out to destroy my productivity!

  • I totally picture this as some malicious 8-bit character, mind you.

Serves y’ right for drinkin’ crap like coffee mucka, wen y’ could be drinkin’ Jameson the Holy Amber Distillation Not only would it’ve cleaned y’ keyboard, it would then’ve evaporated away. No point coming down to the bowels of Scriv, lookin’ f’ sympathy, cos we ain’t got none down 'ere.

Oh all right then…‘ere y’ are…get this down y’ neck an’ stop cryin’

Moderators below decks? An bringin’ curses down with 'em? We’re all doomed!

You haven’t been reading political articles have you? That sort of insanity is catching.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: Classic!


ignore him mr k he,s not worth it.

oh look i can use paint too

Well done cus…but I wouldn’t be to arsed ( :blush: sorry about the rude word), about His Obtuseness’s feelings, [size=85][EDIT:upon reflection…I’m not too sure if he actually has ‘feelings’][/size] cos he can can be as 8bit as the worst of them. Sometimes even worse. 16bit almost.

There is, of course, a compromise solution (or solvent) as defined by Alex Levine:

p Jameson s

You need to speak to Murphy. He has this law that wreaks havoc on those that are productive.

‘Nail on the head’, Young Master Phil… nail on th… The world renowned ‘Jameson Diet’
Consumed in the appropriate quantities, you’ll end up not caring a gorilla’s expellant about how fat you are. and you’ll learn to love your body.



Yes! That would solve all these problems. To the liquor cabinet! I’ll add a splash to the keyboard too, to cheer it up.

Ah yes, I know Murphy Slaw. It’s a heady salad: diced hopes thrown with chunks of dark despair, topped with setback sauce, garnished with a sprig of irony.

The inoculant, which is also the antidote, may be found in the bottle provided by Mr. K.

p Jameson

Damn. And you have a month to go before the next Mercury retrograde.

But it is a full moon! For a few more hours, steps can be taken.

Not just a nutritional solution. As pointed out by the novelist John Lanchester in his novel The Debt to Pleasure, Irish coffee is one of the few poisons that’s packaged with its own antidote.

If you put Irish cream in Irish coffee while drinking Irish whiskey and eating an Irish Breakfast would it encourage you to write a limerick?

Only if you had a shillelagh pencil
Shillelagh Pencil..jpeg