Young Master Turdbed! Stay your hand! I say! Stay it this instant!
As lowly as your station in the great scheme of things may well be, and it surely is low; which or whatever your shortcomings may be, and they are indeed, many and varied, the bilges, however, are not for you.
You, however inconceivable it may seem, to you, are worthy of better! Yes! You! Young Turdbed.
Retake your place on the lowest deck, as one of the lowest of the low, and wear your status with pride. Eschew all thoughts of, ‘Bilge Residence’.
The bilges are home to the Portlander (Bilgerattus-Rattus), element of the crew. And that’s enough said about them.
Fluff