How many fiction writers do we have here?

Literature & Writing I'm a writer!
241

i don,t have a problem with the phrase ,came from money, of itself. i,m pretty comfortable with the idea that a pi might be able to tell from looking at a broad that she not only had money but also that she was born into it; that money and class was something received and not earned.

i,d be much more worried by ,came from old/new money,. how is someone supposed to tell just by looking at someone how their parents acquired the money? at that point i,d wonder if our pi wasn,t deluding himself with the first statement and it really was the name in the appointment calendar that was giving him this insight.

1 Like
242

scratches head

Simple and discrete are adjectives.

Simply and discretely are adverbs.

But I agree with your point in general.

Why do all your apostrophes come out on the forum as commas?

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you can come down either side or the argument semantically. i think of them as misspelt adjectives, you think of them as misapplied adverbs. the outcome is the same.

re commas
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=13742&hilit=+commas#p99262

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KILL HIM CUS!!! :open_mouth: :imp:
Cus Fluff
PS beware semantic black holes cus :frowning:

245

identified, labelled, moved on.

i do feel like attacking something. :smiling_imp:

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I see you’re honing your overstating skills. :smiley: Like it cus :wink:
Cus Fluff

247

Afternoon all,

OK then. I’ve procrastinated about this long enough. Here’s the introduction to the short story / novella / novel that’s been kicking around inside my head for the better part of 12 years.

It’s set in the Shadowrun world. (See shadowrun4.com for details of this role-playing game. I’m not going to try and explain it all here. Just go and read the timeline if you want to read the “history of the world” as it relates to the game.)

Oh, if the moderators think this should be moved to it’s own thread or deleted, go right ahead.

V

248

if i was your editor, this entire passage would have a very big red line all the way through it.

i,m sorry to have to put it this bluntly, especially since the writing itself is fine, but it is all - every single word of it - irrelevant. hell, you even describe it as rambling yourself, right there in the middle of your prose.

a couple of things to remember…
1 - if you are writing a genre piece within an established world you do not need to world build. you can assume that anyone buying a shadowrun novel will be familiar with the concepts of shadowrun.
2 - the thing about background is that is exactly where it belongs… in the background. drop any such information in only as required and do it inbetween the bits of story-telling.

in short, don,t tell me ,I think I shall begin in the crypt.,
just begin there. i mean it. actually there. in the crypt.
not eight words earlier when you tell me ,I think I shall begin in the crypt., but actually in the crypt.
not 623 words earlier either.

also, it is great that playing shadowrun has inspired you to tell your own stories. but here is the thing, books that tie-in to established media tend to be commissioned rather than bought. unless you already have a deal with the publisher, you are making it much harder that your writing will be elevated beyond fan fiction.

why not take the same basic premise and build your own world. you,ll do three things…

  • improve your odds of publication
  • reduce the amount of royalties you have to share with other people
  • remove the constraints of fitting into someone else,s idea / world
249

Hi Floss,

My first thought was “Wow. That was f**king brutal.” :open_mouth: My second thought was “You have a damned good set of points there.”

You’ve given me a lot to think about - most of which I hadn’t even considered. I think that some rewriting is in order. Now all I have to do is find the time, motivation and inspiration to do so. :confused:

Thanks.

V

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I do wonder sometimes whether the black 'n white feline fur-balls that stalk this forum are actually physical manifestations of a certain Stockport gentleman’s left and right hemispheres.
:confused:

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Master Bedturd, off-topicing, as we are all aware, is the unacceptable face of fora existence, however, the introduction of my human’s testicles to the proceeding, :open_mouth: is a disgusting step too far, and assists young Viking, not one jot!

Young Master Viking,
Cousin Floss’ honest and constructive critique of you endeavour, leaves you with much food for thought, your enthusiasm in tact, and what’s more important…stimulated. Go forth, young warrior, and do good…stuff!
Fluff

252

Look, you furry fetid trollop, you’re only allotted nine you know. Time for some target practice, methinks. :smiling_imp:

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Now then, young Master Bertram, you know you don’t really mean that, you’re just a pussycat at heart, albeit a grumpy one :wink:
purrr purrr
Fluff

254

That’s the crux of it, isn’t it? You’ve put lots of time and effort in to hear “uh yeah, lose everything except the idea, not do that idea right”. You love the idea, but your efforts seem wasted. Your recognition, maybe acceptance is better, of the validity of the criticism shows that the effort is not wasted. Give it another shot and see where it lands. You now know a few things to avoid.

255

When it comes to writing, Floss terrifies me (even though she’s a cat) because she has the direct no-mercy approach of, well, a cat. But if I wanted good, helpful, feedback on how to improve my writing, Floss is who I’d turn to (if I could afford her fees, which makes her feedback here all the better). The good bit is she said your writing is fine and she gave some great tips on reworking your overall idea to make it more publishable.

I hope that if/when she shreds my words with honesty there is someone who will remind me of how valuable that experience is. The honesty really is the best part of her feedback, much better than platitudes and empty praise.

Best wishes finding the time, motivation and inspiration. Looking forward to hearing updates. :slight_smile:

256

time - well, that,s your problem.

motivation - i even underlined it and put it in bold. sheesh.
and trust me, the speed with which you went from your first thought to your second thought is a very good sign. hell, you might even be a writer with thick skin like that.

inspiration - this is in exactly the same place it was before.

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and for the avoidance of doubt, i have never been to stockport.

258

Smartarsed mousehound!! pfffrrrrttt!!!

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Well, there was a couple of minutes spent re-reading, re-re-reading and digesting your reply between the two.

I’ve had people read my work and say “This is really good. You should get it published.” But they’re not professional editors and they could just be saying nice things… (I presume that you are a professional editor, going by what Nom said.) Having you say the same thing carries a lot more weight.

:unamused: Now, if only I could remember where that was!

Thank you again for your feedback.

Cheers,
V

To Nom, Jaysen and Fluff - many thanks for your advice and encouragement. It goes a long way to give me more motivation.

260

So here a point that I’m not sure everyone “gets”; writing can be like any other hobby, something you do with no expectation of compensation (paycheck). I figure I will never get published, but I still write things just to clear my head (or the fragments of my head). As such I do strive for excellence but I do not strive for “publishable quality”.

What’s my point?

If you expect/want to make money via your writing, dig deep, find your motivation and follow Floss’ advice. If you are doing this for fun, with no expectation, then Floss has actually validated your successful writing. It is all in what you intend to receive from your writing.

Either way, you are well on your way to success. You should be riding the wave into your next step be it revision/rewrite or moving on to your next project.

Hope that makes sense.