Okay, I’ve spent the last 38 minutes staring at a blank “post a new topic” window, trying to think of something original, clever, and / or funny to say about birthdays. Apparently I’m out of those attributes today.
Still, maybe you can take some comfort that I considered you worth 38 minutes of thought in an otherwise ridiculously hectic day! 
Happy birthday, Jaysen! Hope it’s a good’un.
You’ve just wasted 1.184210526315789 minutes for every year of numpty’s existence.
Just send one of these: youtube.com/watch?v=s79ZhAzJ1OQ
Happy Birthday numpty 
And the mother of all hangovers in the morning!! 
Vic
Happy Birthday, Jaysen. I have neither the wit nor the temperament of either Pigfender or Vic-K, but have a good one anyway!
Mr X
Shhhhhhhh…
why are you posting so loudly? Those empty rum bottles … make them stop sitting with all that noise!
Vic-ky, when do I get smarter about these things?
I’m slightly disappointed Mr Piggy. Not that you spent 38 minutes wasting your day (that makes me quite smiley) but that your attribute counts are so low. A good witticism or 3 from you is worth quite a bit in my book. Quite a bit. And thank you for the thought.
Mr K, I’m not sure you are being quite precise enough. You may need a few more decimal places to been the quality expectations of Mrs Fender. Thanks for the … birds. I sent one to you but the camera wasn’t on.
Mr X, what would the world be without a responsible adult to keep Pigs, nude protestors and shift-8s in line? Could you image the world were the three of us are the mature adults? No one would survive that nightmare. Thank you for the thoughts.
Yes. But I’m a pit of a purest so and Rum2 must be made with Rum1 or you are just … an idiot.
And in my case, you don’t fork with a good Rum1 by turning it into a Rum2. I prefer my Rum1 poured directly into my drinker so I don’t risk contaminating it with anything like melted ice or the inside of a glass. Also reduces waste due to spills and surface tension for the first couple of drinks. And by then you start to pray for spillage so you can be done with the bottle sooner. But the sacrilege of spillage is punishable. Severely punishable. So you don’t spill. You just… keep… drinking.
I figure I’ll be sober again by Monday.
rum
adjective
Definition of rum
rummer; rummest
[i]1 chiefly British : queer, odd
writing is a rum trade —Angela Thirkell
2 chiefly British : difficult, dangerous
See rum defined for English-language learners
Examples of rum in a Sentence
They’re a pretty rum lot.
she wears staid business suits, but prefers some quite rum knickers underneath
[/i]
More appropriate for numpty … me thinks.
Where’s me rummy rum rum filled head?!?!
Think about it…
But why is the rum gone?
Ah yes… the story of me week.
The absolute answer is that
So far the tally on the carnage…
Can’t wait for next year! Maybe i’ll go to Stockport and see if Mrs K will let Vic-k come out and play. What say you Mr K?
MRS K, would scream, "Oh yes! yes! yes! Please get him away from me! Please, Please! Please! But that´s women for y ´
a belated happy birthday jaysen
all lowercase and without punctuation because its the closest i can get to whispering and im concerned jaysen may still have a sore head
Happy Belated Birthday!
It was only a 3 morning hangover. only 3. that’s kind of sad. I must be getting old because I’m not getting smarter.
Thank KB. i would suggest that you’ve written your novel a couple times over now… too bad it is all in objective-c.
Thank you. I promise to give you fair warning should I plan to visit Mr K in the future. Enough time for you to evacuate to the continent.
I suck. Happy birthday, Jaysen, a week late!
I’ll take a week. Kind of like delaying the inevitable, but this is one of those rare occasions where “the thought” actually counts more than the execution.
gigglesnort I’m sure that won’t be necessary!
Don’t kid y’self, Stacey!!! 
Vic xxxxxx,
