youtube.com/watch?v=IWzIf6j93Tk
I’m surprised and pleased to announce that both Lesser Known Adventures made it to the finals of the Best of No Shame Eugene, and this one has been voted into the “Best of – Season 4” show next month.
Lesser Known Adventures of Sherlock Holmes:
The Steam–Powered Aviatrix
by
Kevin L. Corridon
CHARACTERS
MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES A Consulting Detective of Some Renown.
DOCTOR WATSON An assistant, former roommate, and friend of Holmes.
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON An Aviatrix, and Professional Criminal.
DOCTOR MORIARTY Evil Genius, and lesser–known member of Clan Moriarty.
SETTING
Dover, England, and the surrounding environs.
TIME
About 9 in the evening.
ACT I
Scene 1 The Crown & Scepter Pub. Now.
Scene 2 The gondola of the Dark Raider. About 6 the following morning.
ACT [1]
SCENE [1]
(Holmes is stage left in the Crown & Scepter, observing a woman stage right across the room. Samantha Lexington is miming that she is drinking, and talking with people at the bar.)
DOCTOR WATSON
(Narrating off–stage, with microphone.)
Some weeks had passed before I heard from Holmes again. I was delighted that he desired to me to join him at the Crown & Scepter for refreshment, but–– in Dover?
(Watson enters stage right, crosses over to the left of Holmes.)
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Ah, Watson! I have finally found the trail of a certain miscreant. It has been most difficult, as Scotland Yard has gone to extraordinary lengths to suppress the information.
DOCTOR WATSON
Indeed, Holmes? What has occurred?
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Near the cliffs and out at sea, reports of an object that is unidentifiable–– and flying!
DOCTOR WATSON
(Laughs a bit.)
Oh, Holmes, it’s likely just a bunch of drunken french sailors having the locals on.
SHERLOCK HOLMES
No, Watson. Across the room is Miss Samantha Lexington, an aviatrix who has stolen and swindled her way across Asia Minor, Europe, and now perhaps Great Britain.
DOCTOR WATSON
(Leans towards her a bit.)
Hmm… Rather strange accent, can’t place it for all the noise.
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Brace yourself, Watson, for she is–– an American.
DOCTOR WATSON
Oh, dear, no wonder you told me to bring my revolver!
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Caution, old friend. She is ruthless, and dangerous when cornered. But later–– I expect her current employer any moment.
(Holmes shushes Watson, and they move further to stage left. Doctor Moriarty enters stage right, and approaches Miss Lexington.)
DOCTOR MORIARTY
You have obtained the rest of the supplies?
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
(A bit on the bored and spoiled–rich side.)
Yes, I have your coal. It’s alway coal with you, Moriarty. Where’s the money in that?
DOCTOR MORIARTY
(Sighs a bit in exasperation.)
Without it you would not go down in history as the first captain of my steam powered dirigible battle balloon!
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
I want the Tower of London to go down. Then you can pay me my share of the Crown Jewels.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
(First line with a hint of menace.)
If you do not fail me, there will be no end to the riches. My new rapid fire cannon will decimate their defenses!
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
(A bit more smug now.)
Wait 'til Father hears about this escapade. It’s sure to make the papers in America.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
We strike tomorrow at dawn!
(The pair begin to exit stage right. Holmes and Watson do a quick about–face as they pass.)
Come, let us finish our preparations.
SHERLOCK HOLMES
This will be a sleepless night for us, Watson.
(Holmes and Watson exit stage left.)
ACT [1]
SCENE [2]
(Samantha Lexington and Doctor Moriarty enter stage left. Lexington steps to the front and takes the ship’s wheel. Moriarty stands looking over her shoulder.)
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
(In her element now. Excited.)
We’re passing over Gravesend, Doctor. The Dark Raider is a solid ship! If those vapid sorority sisters could see me–– Hah!
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Straight up the Thames now, just as we planned.
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
(Enjoying herself. She spins the wheel.)
Hard to port! Engine room make ready for flank speed! Gunners to your stations!
DOCTOR MORIARTY
(Gleefully evil.)
Nothing can stop us now! Those Beefeaters will wet themselves with fear!
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
I should have one of these built for myself. And a big yacht to carry aircraft… The Lexington.
(Nods to herself.)
I like that.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
And humiliation for the Crown and Scotland Yard!
(Holmes and Watson now enter furtively from stage right. They take positions behind and stage left of the other two. Watson draws his revolver.)
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
That’s odd… Steam pressure’s dropping. Engine room, report!
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Why don’t they respond?
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Doctor Moriarty, you have more pressing issues to resolve.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Foul villains! Curses on you both!
(Moriarty moves to strike Holmes with his cane. However…)
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
I won’t let them take me alive!
(She spins the wheel to starboard, All lurch a bit stage RIGHT. Moriarty backs into Lexington, loses his cane, and throws her off balance. Watson recovers first and trains his pistol upon the pair.)
DOCTOR WATSON
That will be quite enough of that, Miss Lexington. The balance of power has shifted.
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON
No!
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Stay your hand, Miss Lexington. I’m too important for you to endanger.
SHERLOCK HOLMES
(Holmes sorts himself out, and prepares to finish them off.)
You will find, Doctor Moriarty, that your crew is incapacitated, and some have even absconded with your parachutes.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
My parachutes?! The dogs! The traitors!
DOCTOR WATSON
(Amused.)
Well, some of them didn’t know what hit them, you might say. Then they sort of–– forgot to mind the gap, don’t you know.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
But how did you escape detection? Every ounce was calculated!
SHERLOCK HOLMES
In order to compensate for our additional weight, our first task after following you and stowing away on board was to relieve your ship’s magazine of its’ powder.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Damn you!
DOCTOR WATSON
Huh. There he goes again!
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Only Watson and I know the location of the remaining parachutes. Though if you surrender the ship to us, we might be willing to inadvertently reveal that information.
DOCTOR WATSON
It’s that or the noose, old boy.
DOCTOR MORIARTY
Take the ship! And may you crash into Buckingham Palace and burn London down!
SHERLOCK HOLMES
(Holmes, confident, moves to take the wheel.)
Straight through the engine room, by the cargo hatch. Watch your head.
(Doctor Moriarty and Samantha Lexington flee stage left.)
DOCTOR WATSON
What’s next then, Holmes?
SHERLOCK HOLMES
Watson, you will have to shovel a bit of coal if I am to have adequate time to assay the controls. We may yet find ourselves in the Thames before this voyage is over, though I would rather present this vessel to the Yard.
DOCTOR WATSON
(Makes ready to leave the gondola.)
Oh, all right, then. Watch out for Big Ben and Lord Nelson. There’ll be pigeons.
(Holmes and Watson bow and exit.)
