Our Pirate Ship Rain-sprinkled window sank without trace which threatened passing a hedgehog, slowly and painfully out focussed Blackbeard’s attention follow the fred!! snarled the B’osun “Well hello sailor!” Whither ye bound? asked the hedgehog Hydros’ crusty grave the Greek Chorus sang in unison “Werrssaatt?” hedgehog asked Desiring pirate’s booty Arrrrrrrrr, shove off. Wrong booty Mate! Female pirates abounding up the gangplank to be gang gang gooly gooly wotcha doing here? ging gang goo Me ship sunk. overloaded with Portlanders? brooded Wicked Jethro “Buggers are everywhere!” But not here Keep it piratical. quoth the parrot.
Ten fathoms deep, the treasure lay waiting. Wilhelmina the whale snored sweetly, sonorously, while Davy Jones polished his hook DAMN THAT PIGEON!! Looking up…Splat! Prepared to board. whilst wondering, what would Kidd do? Or Jack Sparrow Wot a Ponce! unlike old Blackbeard. Yaaaaarrrrrgggg ye matey Yarg ? Crap cheese traps no mice only tin men RUST, My Ship? nahhh! it`s wooden termites chew for all they’re worth Anyway, the B’osun (sometimes spelled “boatswain”) pipes Up Spirits rum do, that!! Very rum do! on a wreck!!
The captain aims, the bosun claims, the wreck resurfaced and floundered again. “Aaargh!” said all. DAMN THAT PIGEON!!! Ahab saw Moby!! No such thing WOT? WOT? WOT? and then he ascended the mast and saw sea being drunk by Old Father Time stark bloody naked. Thats very rude!! quoth Captain DeLude. snot poetry this!! Procul Harum that! beyond what things? The Captain said: hello sailor boy Save our ship! aye! aye! duckie!! Our sailor-boy smote the octopuss testicle! That damn pigeon probably does…somewhere.
The shore was shrouded by nightfall Here be Vikings! feckers are everywhere!! Now the long-boats left the shore in search for riches and glory. Brandishing their sabers and lutefisk-fuelled, they ran aground attacking the pirates (And dude! Pirates and Vikings in the same story! It can’t get much better than this, can it? ) with unwarranted criticisms!
They stripped off their chiffon blouses and prepared their Hello Sailor routine! Emboldening the Pirates to break into their true sweetness like Trojan Horses dashing around crazily like broken legged patch eye centipedes with whooping coughs they vainly fought an urge to “vogue” like crazy with nekkid pirates. Succumbing to the insanity around them with beer in their upraised hands the belched loudly ‘Auld Lang Syne’ Collapsing in laughter, they deposited their boatload of seamen in the wet memory of lust.
The mermaid blushed! “Sirs, you wrong!” sniveling scrimshaw scriveners. Just then the phantom pirate crew readied their parrots for a broadside of soggy crackers. Splat! They hit the chiffon blouses. The viking crew didn’t last long. They didnt want to! Their plan was purloining pirated pistachios. While doing cartwheels Vic-k does the "River Dance" better than Flatley on good days! Belching the anthem like a goodn!! with vigorous pride they marched away like bashed crabs missing their wasabi. “Good riddance!” quoth "Alas you dirty Mattress backed tramp Dirty damnable pigeon!!! as she bathed in hot oil the flying rodent The captain replied: Whoaah!! slippy woman Holy hoppin’ hippos! where! where! where! Wherever it’s funny! (Just imagine a tutu-clad, Disneyesque hippo, hopping around! It would be pretty funny anywhere! ) WalMarts Pirate Checkout Now that's funny! said Capn Ahab and laughed loudly. This irritated Hippo who hopped unhappily in frustrated resignation and potent flatulence wearing pink leotards singing 'Hotel California" incurred Ahab’s wrath. Saber welding Portlanders attack the hippo with cheese crackers PRIMARK`s cheap crackers and onion dip.
Chapter 2 - Shipwrecked
Once more, into our breeches, friends soon we’ll find fresh pastures anew into which we frolic with menaceand gay abandon!! The captain interrupted “Damn these interruptions!” Survival was uncertain, ripe mangos plenty. Ive gorra neadache "Gather those mangoes!" using chiffon blouses and make smoothies Nay, daiquiris, bos'un! Smoothies!!! or nowt!! The Tequila consumed, all troubles forgotten, they jolly japed about their chances wet grackles chattered ,"Whatre our chances?" “Zero to none” GMT or CET? Probably, ‘Klingon Time’. “Those odds stink!” thought Cap`n Kirk “Must cheat Death!” Launching pirate-dog he in piratical fashion.(P20)
follow the fred!!