Le D,
I forgot to ask to you relay a message to your host body. The message is: Nice to see you back. Your turn to buy.
Mr Jaysen,
If you are plagued by inverted similes, let me reassure you, help is at hand. The judicious application of a well known cortisone cream and a short course of CBT, will set you on the road to recovery.
Do take care,
Dr Mulality
CBT…
You are dragging the board into the mire.
Kewl
Paul
Its already in the mire. Thats where you left it!
I do realise of course, that for a total degenerate like your good/bad self, the merely risqué is a tad passé. However! I wonder if you could bring your remarkable grasp of all things, filth, to bear on the supposed risqué implication contained in,…”the simile inverted”. What is it? Bear in mind I`ve had a sheltered upbringing.
Vic
Vic,
You are slipping, my lad.
Too long a time sculling the pots and pans.
Honking like a porker.
Inverted.
Porking like a honker.
Which means something in J’s neck of the woods, perhaps.
I hope and trust you and missus are well.
D.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal little piggy. 
Is it really that regional? I know I am from the backwoods (even here in NY my local is considered redneck heaven) but come on. Do I really need to explain the adolescent male associating “porking” with certain “Lord of the Flys” activities?
As to “honker” I guess those who view geese and ducks as slightly below Wock on the flying rodentia scale due to their excessive numbers, may have more knowledge of the mating habits of afore mentioned honkers. Let me just say violent, short, and frequently resulting in significant injury of more than one innocent bystander.
I fear for Jaysen`s state of mind. Not only, does he turn out to be a practising simile inverter, he now seeks to introduce bestiality into the thread. Where will it end, and more to the point!..where are the so called Godlike moderators; omnipotent and all powerful? Why do they allow such deviant excesses onboard ship?
Fluff
(Studiously ignoring the general drift of the besotted conversation…)
Just eat lots of H1N1 then. I think that’s a vegetable. (More fair anyway. Wrong sort of swine.)
If memory serves, Hini, is west of Ireland slang for the female genitalia! 
urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hini
If Urban Dictionary doesn’t have it, it can’t be true… at least when it comes to slang terms for anything of the sort.
For the Über Pedanticists; wet blankets and party poopers on board, it turns out, it`s hini with an e, and it refers to the male/female rear end. urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hinie
I suppose, if we imagine The Scrivener Lord Whom I Worship chewing on somebody`s butt, it could just raise a half chuckle.
O Omniscient nOmnipotent Narcissist, my unworthy post is blessed by your touch. [size=50]grumpy old get!! [/size]
Listen you. Don’t make me get Mrs K to put you back in your cage!
now wot `ave I done?
This ship was getting less … sewery … before you escaped! Now look what has happened.
Tsk Tsk. You group are dreadful. Poor Keith is suffering the tortures of the damned, worrying about his delicate progeny. Keith, let me reassure you. Once they reach the exalted age of consent, swine flu and such horrors will be distant memories, idle threats. HOWEVER: You will have driver’s licenses and unwanted pregnancies and substance abuse horrors to deal with then. I am only saying. Choose your poisons. At my esteemed vantage point, I’d welcome a few sneezes and a bit of high mercury if that was all I had to deal with.
But I do feel your pain. the joys of parenthood are totally overestimated, IMHO.
Z
Zoe,
I am silly! For a senior moment there, I thought you were referring to Scrivener.
Thats a very bimboesque post Zoe! But then again, its no more than weve come to expect from you. Grumpy isnt worried about his kids. Do pay attention! Hes worried about himself. Hes a self proclaimed raving hypochondriac. And as for:
Hes done all that already and judging by the look of him, he probably still is! Ask yself this Zoe: would you buy a secondhand Mac app from this guy
Omigod, is that Keith?? 
Where did you get that picture? He is movie star gorgeous!!
Saints be praised.
Now I HAVE to come back to the old sod for a Scriv family reunion. 
Jeeezz!! wot y like!? That picture has been Photoshopped to hell n back on a handcart!. Hes a shrivelled up pimply wart riddled dwarf.