Swine Flu

Brilliant. My son brought a letter home from school today saying that someone at the school has swine flu (but the school is staying open). I’m a hypochondriac at the best of times. This is bloody Cornwall, surely it shouldn’t be allowed here! Ugh.

Thats tough titty, Grumpy. But! Y see, Celts are real men, and they dont get wimpish ailments like flu. Unfortunately, youre only a Brummie. Berra watch out, Grump. Don`t forget to wash all the door handles, whenever someone farts oops sorry!! :blush: I mean sneezes.

Note to self: Do not consult Vic-K when feeling exceptionally hypochondrial.

Tis an irrefutable fact of life, that all females are hypochondriacs. However, should My Lady Amber V, the Goddess of Code, become hypochondriacally challenged, then `twould be no more than a case of

Your servant My Lady

Meh… I live in Victoria. We overtook Mexico as the Swine Flu capital of the world. But we’ve only had about 4 deaths from thousands of infections. Here, at least, it has been no worse than standard flu.

You’ll be fine. Just remember to eat lots of pork in revenge.

Last week I had an absolute humdinger of a flu and had to have a few days off school (I’m a high school Science teacher). After the third day I had to go see a doctor to get a medical certificate for time off and he told me that I had “symptoms consistent with swine flu”. If I had presented within 24 hours of developing symptoms he would have had to give me a shot of tamiflu and sent me off to the hospital to get tested. As it was (being on the road to recovery) I was told to try and avoid being out in public and was given a face mask to wear if I did have to go to a public place. I’m now 95% better, just shaking off the last of the persistent cough’s and sneezes.

Damn, I’m a vegetarian! Time to break half a lifetime’s habit…

Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better, dagaz. Just about all the other kids were at my son’s school this morning, so I guess the other parents aren’t as panicky as me. Matt - we’ve had seventeen deaths here now, three of them otherwise healthy people. That’s out of nearly ten thousand, though. Of course, they’ve stopped even testing for it or trying to contain it here, so many more could have it too. A couple of people we know in London say that half of the kids are off from the schools their children go to.

All the best,

Didn’t realise you guys had it equally bad over there now.

Our media got bored with it when Michael Jackson died, and I haven’t heard a word about it since.

Yeah, we now rank third after the US and Mexico - great. Our media loves it. They were gutted the bird flu didn’t take off a few years ago, so they’re all over swine flu with fancy computerised graphs, diagrams, shots of schools and so on…

Ha, typical of our media.

All over the reporting when we hit the lead, but now that it has been wrestled back off us, not a bloody peep.

It’s just like the Olympics (or dare I say it, the Ashes coverage, if we don’t do so well in the next few weeks).

My missus arrived back from taking a school trip, late last night, and will be heading off into school this morning; even though there have been two confirmed swine flu cases and more awaiting confirmation. They’ve been away for a fortnight and have known for the last few days, having to keep it quiet so their hosts in Germany didn’t panic (as apparently they’re prone to, :open_mouth: like we’re not.)

I firmly believe this whole episode is totally blown out of proportion, by a media that likes to mentally torture those members of our nation who are prone to such constant niggling away at their better judgment. If you throw enough shit, eventually some of it’s got to stick.

Then again, I could be wrong but if so, what a way to control and contain. I suppose I should have more faith, we did such a grand job with mad cow disease. :smiling_imp:

Ah, BSE. Images from that outbreak still haunt me (even though I didn’t see them myself) like some hideous dystopian future: a cow breaking through hedges and peering in through the windows of a family home, while soldiers lined up behind it and shot it in the head.

And supposed experts / trained gunmen stood in the middle of fields taking potshots at terrified sheep, with seemingly no intent on an instant kill. Wing 'em and deal with them later… fast forward to Dumper trucks full of bodies, bonfires full of animals ‘not quite dead’. Yep, we sure dealt with that situation properly.

Maybe if there is some awful outbreak we’ll have this to look forward to ourselves. :smiling_imp:

Thats Stockport on a Saturday night. Stockport is, [i]Dystopia[/i] Dont forget!! Wash those sodding door handles!

I am drunk on moderator power! Oh wait, or is this a fever…?

Yes. :mrgreen:

Tell me, Moderator Most Powerful, do you suffer bouts of honking like a porker?
Do take care
Dr Mulality

Better to suffer as noted than the simile inverted.

Not that I know anything about how that might work.

Think about it.

M`sieur Jaysen, mon brave,
Have you perhaps misread the word honking, mistaking it for bonking?
Bon chance mon ami.
Le D :smiling_imp:

Le D.

I must admit my disappointment in your inability to find the risque in my reply. Maybe it is a national or regional slang issue. BUt I doubt it. More than likely, the constant proximity to Mrs. or Fluff has dulled your senses.