The DUMBEST question!

My son is a uni grad, and he keeps correcting me on my pronunciation of Scrivener.

How is it pronounced?

Don’t give me examples of those dictionary thingies with upside down letters and stuff, just give me a word that SOUNDS the same!

I really want to prove, that his old man actually knows stuff!

A word that sounds the same? Ouch. Scrivener, like silver and orange, defies rhyme.

Suppose a young girl asks her father for money. He says, no, and reminds her of all the money he’s already “given her.”

Lame, but the best I can devise right now.

I suspect you’ll find difference of opinion mostly on the number of syllables. That is, it can be pronounced either sriv-en-er or scriv-ner. Don’t look for an absolute answer on this one; you’ll precipitate another colonial war.


When dealing with children I find the the following pronunciation options cover just about everything:

Free room and board.
When you change my diaper you can make the rules.
I do consider the sidewalk an alternative housing location for overly obnoxious children.

Yes I have used these in the course of serious discussion with my kids.
Yes I am a jerk.
Yes I apologized.
No I will not seek counseling.
Yes I will use them again.

These should all be very familiar to the winged rodent known as Wock. I know I heard them frequently growing up.

Southern Pronunciation

SCRIV rhymes with SHIV

Shiv (Prison knife) (rhymes with BIB)

EN ( in )

NER (nerd but drop the D)


“If you don’t want to walk in circles I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.”

“Remember, I can kill you and make another one that looks just like you. I have done it before Mr. Two point oh.”

“Whatever I say goes unless God tells you otherwise. God ain’t here right now.”

“You correct me again and I will slap you so hard you will have a permanent speech impediment and then you can go around correcting yourself.”

“Come to think of it your right. I have been wrong about a lot of things but since to your extreme powers of deduction I have seen the errors in my ways and vow to change them. I will start first by buying all your clothes from Good Will so the family can save some money for English lessons.”

“You should only correct someone if you have all the answers. Since you feel you have all the answer then answer this. How are you going to pay the bills this month since I need to quit my job and go back to school?”

“Boy, swing your right leg in a counter clockwise direction. Keep swinging it. Now draw the numeral six in the air with your right hand. If you can do that without your leg switching directions to a clockwise direction then I will listen. Until then go to your room and practice.”

“Remember boy, you are taught by teachers in a public school system. I make more than your teachers.”

“Tell me son, have you learned anything in school yet that someone would pay you for or that you could make a living at? If so you owe me rent.”

“Smart mouth me again boy and tomorrow I will go down to the courthouse and legally change your name to Jackass.”

“I bet you girl friend is dying to see those pictures of you growing up.”

“I bet your friends in school would love to know you were born a girl.”

“Define Asinine.”

“Let us see how good you are at math. How many times do you think I can hit you with my belt before you pass out?”

“I think the proper term that describes you is dependent last time I checked.”

“Your gonna suck at interpreting drunkanese.”

At random times in the wee hours of the morning for two weeks straight rush into his room and wake him up and ask him how to pronounce inconsiderate.


I rest my case.

the Vulture wrote:

Jaysen wrote:

Its not resting thats needed here, it`s arresting

Le`d :smiling_imp:


Think of the most backwards folks you can. Exclude yourself for the sake of this argument. Not the meanest, not the most irritating. Think of the ones who just seem to be from some distant past where things are done… differently. Now imagine villages, towns, even cities full of these people. Generally good folks who join the losing side of a fight just to even the odds, and then when it was determined that they were on the wrong side would turn all vigilante to see justice done.

Now picture them with wings, slightly iridescent green feathers… You see where this is going? Welcome to the DEEP south. Ask nice and we will even share the hooch and corn bread.

Oh and no good dog gets kicked… Bad dogs are a different story.

in brit-speak it would be ‘scriv-nuh’ (like guv-nah)

well, depending on which dialect you prefer…

I think it could be scriv - n - uh, ie with a syllabic n (like in button: but - n), for some speakers of English.

Yes, if they spoke the now deprecated RP … if you come from Sarf Lunnun, it’d be more like what dixonge suggests.


I would pronounce it

“The only writing program really worth a damn!” or something to that nature.

One thing Jaysen left out in the description for you vic-k was the women.

Many call them “Southern Belles” because of how nice and polite they are. They make excellent hosts and always lend a caring ear. They are the pride of the South and are famous.


If you ever do anything disrespectful to a southern lady you have to answer to all her kin. That is if she don’t get a hold of you first.

And don’t think because grand pappy can barely walk that he can’t shoot the fleas of a squirrel across the field. Sharp eyes and long memories and every family member will come a runnin’ if they think some injustice has been had.

The term “Shotgun Wedding” origin’s lie in the deep south and some say is still in practice today.

And one thing many old southern “pappys” like to have handy is a Shotgun loaded with Rock Salt.
Now getting shot with Rock Salt is something no one wants. Usually won’t kill you but you would wish you were dead. ANd people down here will shoot you if they feel they have a reason to. :slight_smile:

So pay head if you find yourself on the roads leading South. People are hospitable and would let you in at the drop of the hat, but vic-k, if you are carry your bottle and eyeing a “Southern Belle” best be warned beforehand.


Well, so long as you are visibly Caucasian and do not, in any way, resemble a Democrat. :wink:

Not quite fair that one…

Clinton was gov of what state?
Robert Byrd senator from?
I could go on on the dem line, but it hurts too much.

On the “white man’s land” front I think it is key to note that there are place in the north east that I dare not show my pale white backside. While the history of the south is disgusting, I believe that there are as many folks now “bigots against white men” as there every were in the south. The problem goes back to Wock’s very accurate description of what happens when you mess with southern pride. We don’t forget and we get even. Very bad combination.

BTW I have several older relatives who fought FOR civil rights in the south. Every single one of them was shot by negros in the '70s. The shooters came from the north. That bigotry is a 2 way street.

Before this thread devolves entirely in the unhelpful direction, I suggest we settle this by appeal to ultimate authority (since fatherly authority is no match for the circumstance).

The OED (aka Word God) sez it is pronounced: 'skriv(e)ne® [where the 'e’s here should be upside down and the ‘i’ should be in small caps].

Which, I suppose, means you can swallow the first e and the terminal r, but not entirely. That would seem to imply that, for pronunciation purposes, ‘scrivener’ is properly thought of as a three syllable word.


BTW, the OED dates the word from c1375 in this occurrence: “Reinaldus le scriueyner”–which looks like “screwy-ner” to me and would have made an altogether loopier software name…

“Scriven” rhymes with “driven”, + schwa at the end, as in, “Your poor mum, you’ve driven’er round the bend!”

OK, KB, yours must be the definitive comment here. Still, I’d like credit for the pretty-damn-close answer I offered way back at the beginning: “given her.”


“If you hadn’t given her Scrivener, Word would’ve driven her round the bend.”

Phil, I plead guilty to not having read all of the posts and thus I pretty much repeated what you said. :slight_smile:

…actually Mes amis you are all wrong!!..tis pronounced 書士 shoshi but don`t tell anyone it was Le D that told you

/shoshi/? /shoshi/? … I thought that was the parcels of raw tuna and sticky rice wrapped in sea-weed that vik-k eats when he’s had a Jamieson or two too many, and which is leading to damage to the Mediterranean eco-system because of over-fishing of that noble fish!

My friend, 書士 is at best that other language … or put more simply in the ancient and original language it should be 書手 and how you pronounce it, even in that other language (I would guess), would depend on where you come from! The standard “putonghua” or “RP” pronunciation is /∫u:∫ou/. But, just as my friends from Sarf Lunnun don’t sound in the least like our friends from Stockport, whether speaking from under a table at the Red Lion or any other possible location …