The word according to...

[size=85]Stolen From
St Bonaventure Pastoral Area Quarterly Newsletter
RC Diocese of Shrewsbury
Thanks to the Venerable John O’Donoghue
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
My desk is a work station.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak

The early bird may get the worm, but it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.

The Evening News, is where they begin with, ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

How is it that one careless match can star a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to light the campfire?

I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don’t need it.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

A bus is a vehicle that travels faster when you’re running to catch it, than when you are on it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Never under estimate the power of stupidity.

Experimenting is using a feather during sex. Kinky is using the whole damn chicken.

Drive it like you stole it.

Hard work is for people with no talent.

Your self esteem is measured by where you are willing to pick your nose.

If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.

If you put a package on a ship its CARGO if you transport it in a car its a SHIPMENT.

“In all honesty” is usually followed by a lie.


I piss excellence.

Yeah…we have noticed.

Coming from a bird, that has more substance.