He’s fluent in all languages, including three that only he speaks.
Midgets look up to him.
Ghosts fear him.
He tips an astonishing 100%.
Once while sailing around the world, He discovered a short cut.
When sailing the wind is always at his back.
Panhandlers give him money.
He does Calculus in his head.
He always rounds to five decimal points.
He divorced his wife because he caught her littering.
His 7th Inning stretch could last through the 9th…
He’s never not sat up straight.
As a toddler he taught others to walk.
At the book store people crowd to see him read.
Athletes seek his autograph.
His passport requires no photo.
He can keep one eye on the past while looking into the future.
When fishing at some point he has to call it quits.
He’s never found a penny that wasn’t heads up.
When he drives his new car off the lot it increases in value.
His 1913 Duesenberg still has that new car smell.
Though he can’t walk on water he’s never slipped on ice.
You’re still not very interesting, Wock. I don’t care what they say. 
