…wait, this is difficult. I think… Well, okay, I sort of know… No, I know… Okay, let’s start again:
I’m KB, and I’m a [wannabe] sci-fi writer.
There you go, I said it. It’s been difficult. It’s taken me years to admit it. But it’s liberating. Hopefully. Anyway… I’m out!
Well, look: the problem is this. For years I have laboured under the crippling delusion that I was going to write a literary novel (which is, actually, a meaningless expression: Philip Pullman said in a recent article that the “literary” part of a novel is just the part that isn’t the story). Something deep and insightful that would sit somewhere between Barnes and Borges on the Fiction shelves of Waterstones. My ex-girlfriends would read the reviews in the Sunday Times Books section or the Guardian Review and would weep at letting such a genius get away. There would be Booker Prize dinners. Invites to appear on the Newsnight Review. An eventual slot on Grumpy Old Men on BBC2. And so on.
Never mind the fact that the only books that I read voluntarily between the ages of 13 and 19 were the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books. Or the fact that it was Slaughterhouse 5 and a book of short stories by Philip K. Dick that made me want to write when I discovered them at 19, like a light going on in my head. (And more importantly, which started me reading again - and voraciously - after school turned me off books.) And it was of course of no relevance that all of my favourite movies were sci-fi.
And the fact that all the ideas I had were sci-fi didn’t mean anything. I was bound to come up with something else. Those ideas were just silly…
No more! Damn it, I’m out: I’m going to write a bloody science fiction book and actually use the ideas I have, and so what if there are clones or artificial intelligence or whatever else in it. I’m going to enjoy it. Me. Sod those ex-girlfriends and the Sunday Times Books section. And it will probably be utter crap, too, but that doesn’t matter either.
I am, it turns out, an idiot. A pretentious one, too.
Why is it that sci-fi is held in such self-esteem not only by the “literary establishment” but also by those who - in actuality - like it? (Three of my favourite series of the past few years: Farscape, Firefly and Battlestar Galactica; just as good as The Wire, The Shield etc which I also love.) This only applies to literature, too: films don’t have the same stigma attached to them. The Matrix, Donnie Darko - mainstream audiences wouldn’t avoid them because they were - ugh! - sci-fi. And this is true of sci-fi literature. I have a feeling that Star Trek is partly to blame (I hate Star Trek). And books with spaceships on the front. And associations with adolescent boys. Or something. Anyway.
Phew! Glad that’s off my chest.
Keith