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Real writers loathe cliches.
Yes, thank you mother (who is a writer and refused to teach me any cliches, which has hampered me greatly in my every day communications).
A bird in the hand is like nine up in a tree? Uh, let’s see, it’s colder than a witch’s…what is that part of the body referred to there??? That dog won’t hunt a cat up a tree?
See what I mean???
Hotter than hell.
Snow balls chance in hell.
Dog days of August.
Sweating like a (pig|dog).
In order of WTF-ness
Per definition of hell this is nonsense. And given that we could even measure the temp in hades how would one return from the dead? That would give credence to us “divine God in control” types.
Hello?! Water would break into atomic components due to the heat. How would you even get close enough with a snow ball to give it a chance? And again with the whole “God:” thing here.
Dog days? Do dogs even differentiate what day it is? Do they lick themselves differently on certain days? Are they kicked less in August? We should ask vic-k.
PIG and DOG do NOT SWEAT!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Whi started this and how do I kill them again?!?!?
I’m done. For now.
C’mon on now, settle down.
At the end of the day…
Is my personal anti-favourite. It brings forth the clenched fist and the tight mouth.
An appeal to reason by someone with the mind of a slug.
Paul
mine is “Never say assume, as it makes an ass out of you and me.”
I pretty much never DO say assume, in case someone replies with that hideous rebuke.
alex –
I think the one you’re trying to remember is, “A bird in the hand spoils the broth.”
ps
Actually, the ceiling temperature in hell can be computed precisely. To summarise: Revelations 21:8 states this of the physics of damnation: “But the fearful and unbelieving… shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” Brimstone is of course merely an alternate word for sulphur, and we know that sulphur goes from liquid to gas state at 444 centigrade. Thus, for there to be a lake of fire and brimstone, the temperature of hell must be at least below that point.
Incidentally, the linked article goes on to demonstrate that heaven is actually hotter than hell, as Isaiah 30:26 states this of its physical properties: “Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days.” Wading through various radiation equation laws, this results in an ambient temperature of roughly 525 centigrade. Considerably hotter than hell, in fact, clichés aside!
There is a rebuttal which attempts to return hell as the hotter of the hottest two spots using the increased atmospheric pressure of roughly 30 quintillion souls (because the earth is only 6,000 years old or whatever, ahem) packed into a 7,000km/2 area (hell is described as a specific area on earth; see footnotes in linked article), but I do not subscribe to this rebuttal, as it assumes the tortured souls of the damned have a physical quantity or gaseous state, and as modern science has clearly shown, the soul has no physical properties and is entirely ephemeral (or, as the sceptical might say, it doesn’t exist). Also, I think the notion of using Gehinnom as the literal location of Hades is a fair bit stretched.
And yes, our snowball would indeed erupt into spontaneous plasma at the immediate introduction to Gehinnom and its quintillions of souls, as water vapour hits that lovely state at a mere 127 C (again, assuming ordinary pressure). The question I have for that cliché is: Exactly what sort of chance are we talking about? It’s a bit vague. I’d say the “chance” of a snowball becoming a plasma ball are statistically and scientifically sure.
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
“Drive it like you stole it.”
“Wish in one hand and Poo in the other and see which one fills faster.”
“That was about as a bad as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.”
“There is no I in Team.”
“Second place is the first loser.” 
“Now that’s a hum dinger.”
“A mistake is a sure sign of poor planning.”
“People who don’t vote bitch the loudest.”
“Tore up from the floor up.”
Also ona side note does any effects of "Global Warming, Global Cooling, Climate Change, or Mash Reruns effect the weather in Heaven or Hell or is the CLimate there static?
Flatter than a witch`s tit. 
vic
That`s about as intellectual as it gets, where my human is concerned. Crass/crude is his forte. I feel really embarrassed at some of his utterances.
Fluff 
Uhh I have seen some top heavy witches before so this saying is a tad confusing.
I think it is supposed to be Colder than a witches titty. 
And also used in those situations is the
“So cold my nipples could dial a rotary phone”
line
Oh the vulgarity…
Journalistic clichés make me giggle the most, they are so bombastic (ahem, objective). How many times now has Chicago “reeled from the effects” or “been rocked by the” . How many shelved software boxes or shrink-wrapped mobile telephones have been “unleashed upon the public” like feral, hideous beasts. No doubt, “wide-spread panic” ensues, though perhaps the event might become a “poster-child for” all following events, allowing it to “embark on an historic” venture (because history happens suddenly), breaching the “make or break point” and “causing a ground-swell” of “market reaction.” Because, you know, ground swells a lot, and the market reacts (often plunging or soaring).
Hmm. In movies & assorted crime-fantasy sundry: “lock and load,” an act which has not been required since the flintlock became quaint (or at the very least, the M1 rifle).
Common in novels which I could really favour the death of: “Rictus of…pain/fear/etc.”, “she sucked her teeth”, and “he puffed out his cheeks.” All three of these cause me to “explode with laugher” at the exaggerated images they conjure (they are, after-all, wafer thin).
“At the end of the day,” I think that “in my mind’s eye,” my favourite shall be: “You never know, because we only use 10% of our brains you know?”
ditto on the journalistic cliches, although you put it far more succintly and astutely than I would have (if I’d even though of it). But some rags try to be so sensational that the headline departs from reality - and in fact all semblence of relevance to the article in question.
It’s not a cliche, but while we’re briefly on the subject - I hate it when journalists voice the fears or concerns that a certain celeb/a-lister/tv presenter must currently be feeling. To have the world told what you think by someone whose never even parked next to you in the Tesco’s carpark, and therefore has NO working knowledge of what your thoughts would be must be galling.
Back to cliches - I promise not to use “rictus of death” ! I probably won’t kill off any of my characters anyway. I am too soft hearted.
The internet.
Check out the Cliché Finder at this url:
My contribution to the site:
“Morality can’t be legislated.”
Morality: Having to do with right or wrong behavior.
Legislate: To make or enact laws.
Virtually all legislation has to do with morality. So, not only is it a cliché, but it’s also completely wrong.
Here are a few more:
“Dumb as a box of rocks.”
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” (I hate that one!)
“He’s so stupid that if he threw himself at the ground, he’d miss.”
“Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
“Drunk as a skunk.” (I’d really hate to meet up with a drunk skunk.)
“He was given a pink slip” instead of “he got fired.”
Finally, this one, with apologies to Vic-k: “Lamer than a three-legged dog.”
What’s wrong with that one?
I mean it isn’t like you said “Lamer than vic-k”?
Hmmm… actually that might work.
Living aboard a ship, that`s crewed by a bunch of crass insensitives, one becomes inured to their hurtful invectives. Part of the survival process.
I am of the opinion that the cliché is a much maligned creature, no more than myself, and as in my own case, quite undeservedly so. The vast majority of them are the very embodiment of wit n wisdom, and not to use them because one fear ostracism, vilification and castigation by ones so called peers, is a false positive.
Before too long, everything we say will be deemed a cliché, there`ll be nothing else left.
Cliché sensitivity is akin to anal retentiveness. ‘In my humble opinion’.[size=85]<------CLICHE ALERT!![/size]
Vive le cliché
vic